Showing posts with label sociopath. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sociopath. Show all posts

June 17, 2015

Dear Narcissist Problems "I Can't Sit With Them"


Dear Narcissist Problems,

Anon please! I and a group of online friends have been targeted by a woman we thought was our friend. We were all in a secret support group on Facebook, but gradually she took over which resulted in the group becoming a negative place with members banned, bullying of outsiders, and people flocking to her like flies on shit. I had foresight and chose to unfriend her and leave before it got too dark and negative for me. She noticed straight away that we weren't friends anymore, and started an online hate campaign, turning people against me. She told people I was talking about them behind her back, told them I was a scam artist, and generally smeared my name. I lost my online business, I lost friends, and I got depressed and withdrawn and stopped leaving the house. I've had to get a new Facebook account and block everyone from that group. This girl now admins a larger Facebook group, and has turned everyone in there against me as well now. Even though I've blocked her, she's still finding ways to get to me online. What do I do? I've debated going to the police due to feeling unsafe. I'm in the UK. She's actually well-known as she was breastfeeding in public and someone took a picture and called her a tramp, so she's been on the news defending breastfeeding and has set up a campaign called free to feed. It's a bit ironic that someone famous for standing up to Internet bullies is an Internet bully herself. This profile is a whole new profile, but a girl who was my real life friend told her about this profile. I and my friends have saved a lot of screen shots, not enough though I fear as we didn't realize at the time what was going on.

Sincerely,

“Can’t sit with them”

 

Dear “Can’t sit with them”,

     I have experienced this secret group bullying to an extent.  There have been a few secret groups I have joined and been bullied out of actually.  At one point, I was supporting one of the women to do a retreat.  I thought it was a great idea.  However, because I did not use my own pictures on my profile she began questioning my gender. (It was a female only group)  I understood the fear that maybe I could have been a man, I knew I wasn’t a man and had actually belonged to this group for a few months without problem.  She began taunting me and she wanted to Skype to ensure I was in fact a female.  It was totally ridiculous and I eventually replied, “Would you like a picture of my vagina??? Is that proof enough??”  I don’t think she really had an issue with my body parts she was just trying to create a hostile environment.  It turned into a debate on what kind of profiles are acceptable.  I had no problem sharing “myself” with the admin but we join secret groups for a reason, privacy.  To avoid stalking and further harassment.  To gain support in our weakest moments.  The woman was a predator in sheeps clothing and I see it happen a lot.  I typically avoid these people unless I am forced to react and then I only react directly to the issue and not at the emotional provokations.  She was the same type of personality you describe here, cruelness guised as a victim saint and people flocked to her like flies on shit on a hot summer day.  Let them have each other.  What a nightmare you have been through and I hope you have screen shots of what happened.  I know you are in the UK but in the United States there are laws against libel (written slander) and you should be able to sue her in civil court for the destruction of your name and loss of business. Start a new business with a different name, don’t let her destroy you.  I would get a free consult with an attorney ASAP.  Wow, this is exactly how we end up with anon profiles in the first place.  You need to stand up to this bully and do not let her intimidate you into submission.  A covert narcissist usually takes on the role of the martyr or victim of some sort and it seems to be working for her well.  I would contact the police if necessary and defiantly go talk to a lawyer.  Don’t share anymore personal information with anyone who knows her.  It seems like the friend who told her your real name was nothing more than a flying monkey trying to catch a ride on the 15 minute fame train.  Know the red flags and please don’t hesitate to message again.  You shouldn’t feel so alone but I do recommend making another profile but keeping this one open just to collect evidence of the harassment.  If you can have a person who is totally removed from the situation check your messages for you and remove any real life photos so they don’t get spammed out in the smear campaign.  Good Luck to you and remember you are not alone! 

Regards,

Narcissist Problems

June 11, 2015

Dear Narcissist Problems, "Help"


 
 
Dear Narcissist Problems,

Hello, I didn't feel safe posting this on the wall. After 1 year and a half, 4 day trial in court I have finally divorced the most perfect narcissist who follows every single bullet from all narcissist posts. He fits like a glove. He’s done it all. I have been harassed, abused, stalked, threatened, intimidated, and my story is one of many, very sad... now I’m divorced, happy to say everything went fine in court but... he has not stopped. He keeps threatening in his emails, intimidating me, creating problems where there’s none.... my heart skips a bit when I see his mail in my inbox. I can barely breathe and I start shaking as I open one. (We have joint physical custody of 2 precious little girls. Therefore email contact stays open, and he sure abuses it to get to me. I have taken the free services of LAWS for counseling but we have no more available. I went from being unemployed ( stay home mom ) when separation started, to having a fulltime job ( starting September ) now part time, having my own rental place, paying for everything, as he is not paying the child support or alimony... I have done a miracle so to say in a year and a half... BUT.................................. I need tools, I need mental help to deal with him after court, after attorneys... I need guidance... can anyone help me??? Where can I go? He left us without health insurance... I got my kids insured but I still have no health insurance... so I need some sort of free service offered by any support group?

Sincerely,

“Help”

 

Dear “Help”,

   Thank you for the question and you asked a great one! I have some good and bad news for you. The bad news is that he will never stop.  The good news for you is that you have a highly arrogant narcissist on your hands.  What I am understanding from your message is that you have limited contact with your ex-husband?  If so, congratulations!  The key to dealing with a narcissist is to not react to their provoking.  There only goal is to illicit a reaction from you whether it is positive or negative.  When he is there writing those emails and picturing your response he is getting high.  If you actually do respond and acknowledge whatever he said to provoke you it would probably be the equivalent of what a heroin addict feels just after shooting up.  From what I’ve seen in the movies the high a drug addict feels after shooting up is greater than experiencing 20+ orgasms at the same time.  Do not feed his addiction.  Only give response that would involve your business with him and that is raising two girls.  If he sends a nasty email you can do one of two things A) root out the point (visitation, rescheduling, appointments) B) have someone you trust open your emails from him and have the trusted other root out the point.  Only respond to the point in a matter of fact tone only stating facts and clarifying facts.  No emotion and no reaction.  My best guess is that he only is trying to share custody with you to avoid paying child support.  Narcissists are great controllers, manipulators, and liars so don’t you ever forget that.  Their main goal is me, mine, and myself.  What you need to do in this situation is document the crazy.  Document the tactics he is using in his emails.  Print each email, get out a highlighter, and go to town highlighting every behavior you observe that you have learned about in these groups and on these pages.  Educate yourself on this abuse so you know what you are looking for.  Get a binder, get some clear binder inserts and start a case file.  Also, keep a journal.  You want to write in a daily journal time, date, what happened that day, did anything out of the ordinary happen (strange phone call from any agencies/businesses, strange mail, strange people),  If something or someone strange comes along document what happened (what did they say, do, have you seen them before, what were they wearing, what were they driving, license plate number, etc.), keep in your journal notes (I received an email today about____ and in the email I was threatened because ___).  You want to be your own personal advocate as far as this goes.  You want to be your very own private eye, call yourself “Friday”, and never forget you are building a case against this person.  Research your own state stalking/harassment laws, make police reports, in fact, become besties with your local PD so they know you in case something does happen.  Get your daughters into counseling.  I’m sure for the moment he might be treating them great because he has an agenda of making them hate you.  He is probably spoiling them and most likely bad mouthing you in the process.  Using your children as spies.  When this doesn’t work out he will discard the children as well so make sure you have “the change” well documented so it collaborates with all his nasty emails.  I know you want to shake like a leaf and run away.  You probably hide in your home a lot and peek out of your curtains at every little noise you hear.  Your heart probably jumps when the phone rings.  It’s time for you to get angry.  You do not deserve to be treated this way and how dare him to think that he can get away with this!  I am not saying become confrontational but become a solid rock; he can’t penetrate your being to the core.  He is a pesky fly on a hot summer night with no breeze that keeps trying to land on your sweaty face.  He is the mosquito buzzing in your ear all night but too small to find when you turn the light on.  He is the mildew that keeps growing in your basement bathroom.  He is the splinter in your finger that you can’t dig out.  He is the handle on a 24 pack of Coke that rips and makes all your cans hit the pavement and explode when you are walking from the grocery store to the car.  This is what you are dealing with and if I had all night to keep writing about things he could be equated to…. I would.  I’m sure you get the point, do not react.  As for help, joining support groups on Facebook geared toward narcissistic abuse is a great place to start.  Most of the groups I have joined have been amazing.  They are a great place to surround yourself with people who “get it”.  Just do a search through Facebook “Narcissistic abuse” “parental alienation” “High conflict spouse” “mental health advocate”.  I will send you some links to a few of the groups I participate in.  Most of them I joined over a year ago so I’ll send the ones I trust.  As for outside help, contact a local domestic abuse shelter or your county court house and ask where you can locate an advocate.  If you are struggling, go to your local DHS office and see if you qualify for any assistance/health insurance.  Also, contact local hospitals and see if they offer low income health clinics.  Use as many services as you need until you can get back on your feet again.  This is what they are for.  You can do this!  You are strong enough, you deserve to succeed, and one day you will look back on this horrible situation with gratitude because it has made you so strong.  Never forget, Document the crazy!  Prepare yourself to end up in court and never expect his help with anything financially.  Moreover, be careful who you share your problems with because a narcissist is a great manipulator and will use others as flying monkeys to come wreak havoc in your life.  You got this!

Regards,

Narcissist Problems   

June 8, 2015

Dear Narcissist Problems, "Curious"



Dear Narcissist Problems,
I understand that this group normally focuses on personality disorders on an individual basis but I was wondering if you could explain to me if gaslighting ever happens in other situations. Can a person experience gaslighting in places other than in their own homes and personal relationships?
Sincerely,
"Curious"
Dear "Curious",
You have asked a great question and the answer is a capital YES!! It is important to know the red flags of abuse so that you can use your critical thinking skills in other areas of life as well. One such example of gaslighting on a grand scale can be observed on a daily basis when the public is informed about what is good for them and then new prescriptions or healthcare treatments are suggested. Sometimes the treatments are created as a prevention to disease but in reality the treatments are either not effective or they cause injury. When an injured party questions the treatment they are then led to believe they are crazy by their doctors and the government or labeled a conspiracy theorist in order to thwart further questioning. This practice actually leaves a major portion of the population scratching their own heads wondering if they are crazy for doubting people in such noble professions as healthcare and government. Love Triangle: Not-for-Profits, For- Profits, and Government.
Corruption in the American government is becoming painfully obvious when researching Not-for-profit and For-Profit organizations and the roles these institutions play in policy making. In recent years, the unethical practices that have merged as the result of large corporations investing in Not-For-Profit organizations which play key roles in that result in public policy is unethical and should be banned from practice. The results of these unethical practices can be felt not only in the United States but worldwide. The relationship between a government agency, a foundation, and a pharmaceutical company has led to a crisis in the global healthcare system which is resulting in the harm of citizens around the world. When it comes to something as important as a person’s body and health an extreme amount of caution should be taken in order to avoid corruption in this configuration. As most people who watch television are aware, there is a growing epidemic of bad drugs being passed off onto the American public. While there are agencies and laws that are put into place to ensure the safety of pharmaceuticals these policies are being circumvented because of the relationship that has been established between pharmaceutical companies, the foundations that produce the results of research, and the governmental agencies put into place to ensure the safety of products made available to the public. The public relies on the government to ensure its safety and best interest. However, the public’s best interest is being jeopardized due to greed and corruption. A closer look needs to be taken into the love triangle which has merged between the CDC, The CDC Foundation, and the pharmaceutical company known as MERCK in the United States but MRK in other countries. The CDC Foundation was created as an extension of the CDC in order to get private funding for research as a means to improve public health. The problem occurs when a company such as Merck donates private funding towards The CDC Foundation in order to have its product passed for safety and put on the market to the general public. This relationship, in itself, creates a conflict of interest and should be banned from practice. The relationship established between the CDC, The CDC foundation, and Merck pharmaceuticals is not in the best interest of the American public because it is putting lives in jeopardy for a profit.
In order to understand the dynamics at play when discussing the conflict of interest the partnership between The CDC Foundation and Merck pharmaceuticals creates it is necessary to include the governmental agency the CDC into the equation. The CDC, Center for Disease Control, was founded in the 1940’s with the main goal of eradicating malaria. Since its inception it has become one of the leading agencies in the world to focus on human health globally by researching diseases and ways to effectively control and prevent them. The agency receives its funding from tax payers and its mission statement taken from the official CDC website is as follows:
“…to protect America from health, safety and security threats, both foreign and in the U.S. Whether diseases start at home or abroad, are chronic or acute, curable or preventable, human error or deliberate attack, CDC fights disease and supports communities and citizens to do the same.” (Mission, Role and Pledge 2014).
The CDC was put into place to conduct research that would make American citizens healthier, safer, and provide inexpensive treatments to the general population and funding to obtain this goal is generated by the American taxpayer who entrusts this agency to act in its best interest. Moreover, the “CDC conducts critical science and provides health information that protects our nation against expensive and dangerous health threats, and responds when these arise.” (Mission, Role and Pledge 2014).
According to the mission statement the goal of this agency is to protect Americans from disease, conduct research, and establish treatment for disease. The research gained from studies and experiments is then analyzed and implemented into practice by creating laws and policy. The CDC’s role is to spread awareness of disease while simultaneously eradicating them. One role that needs to be examined further here is the accuracy and honesty of the statement that the CDC is “Tackling the biggest health problems causing death and disability for Americans.” (Mission, Role and Pledge 2014). After examining the relationship established between the business triangle that was created by the CDC, The CDC Foundation, and Merck pharmaceuticals it becomes painfully obvious that the American people have been duped out of Billions of tax dollars and their health. The pledge made by this agency to “Be a diligent steward of the funds entrusted to our agency, Provide an environment for intellectual and personal growth and integrity, Base all public health decisions on the highest quality scientific data that is derived openly and objectively, Place the benefits to society above the benefits to our institution, Treat all persons with dignity, honesty, and respect” (Mission, Role and Pledge 2014). It can be found after examining the connections between this agency and the Not-for-Profit and For-Profit organizations that the above statements are untrue. This agency has placed the American public and society at risk because their public health decisions are based on scientific data that is not derived openly or objectively because the research this agency relies on is being gathered from a Not-for-profit that is funded by an organization with a special interest in the outcome of the research that is conducted.
The CDC Foundation was “Established by Congress as an independent, nonprofit organization, the CDC Foundation connects the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) with private-sector organizations and individuals to build public health programs that make our world healthier and safer.” (CDC Foundation 2015). This foundation was founded in 1995 as a means to gain funding for medical research. According to the foundation website “the CDC Foundation has provided $450 million to support CDC's work” (CDC Foundation 2015). The intention of this established nonprofit organization seems rather altruistic until one takes a closer look at the research provided by the foundation that has been faulty and led to injury and/or death. On any given day the public can see the outcome of this faulty research in a single hour of watching television. Every other commercial seems to be either about a new drug with a slew of bad side effects or an advertisement for a personal injury lawyer who is bringing a class action lawsuit against a pharmaceutical company for a bad drug. This contradicts the mission statement of both the CDC and the CDC foundation. With the use of bad drugs the American public and the world are not safer or healthier. In fact, the opposite is true and this is due to a special interest taking part in the outcome of medical research in order to gain a profit. “Established by Congress, the CDC Foundation helps the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention do more, faster, by forging effective partnerships between CDC and corporations, foundations, organizations and individuals to fight threats to health and safety. The CDC Foundation is a 501(c)(3) public charity.” (CDC Foundation 2015). This is an absurdly unethical relationship and there are laws in place to prevent the mingling of government agencies with corporations for a very good reason. When corporations influence government agencies it results in corruption and unethical business practices.
Listed on the CDC Foundations website as a reason for its inception is that “: “As a private 501(c)(3) public charity, the CDC Foundation receives charitable contributions and philanthropic grants from individuals, foundations, corporations, universities, NGOs and other organizations to advance the work of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Unlike many large foundations, the CDC Foundation does not have a large endowment to support our activities.” (CDC Foundation 2015). An interesting fact that emerges when researching the funding and the sources of funding for each agency and organization is the massive amount of money generated towards research and healthcare implementation plus the costs of the end product, the medicine, treatments, and services. The mission statement of the CDC becomes contradicted when it was written that one of their goals was to eliminate expensive healthcare treatments in the first place. It seems the American and global public have found themselves in the greatest Ponzi scheme of all time. In this scheme the American public is being hoodwinked out of an enormous amount of cash. “The president’s fiscal year (FY) 2014 budget request for CDC is $6.6 billion, a decrease of 270 million from FY 2012. This funding level includes $755 million from the Affordable Care Act’s Prevention and Public Health Fund (PPHF) and $618 million in Public Health Service (PHS) evaluation funds.”(CDC Budget Request 2014). The summary then goes on to summarize the services the funding went to provide. The amount of money generated annually by the American people alone should be enough to eradicate and/or prevent every disease mankind has ever encountered. A contradiction may have been created when the value statement of the CDC is “saving lives, protecting people from health threats, and saving money through prevention.” Because it seems as if the cost of prevention may far outweigh the actual cost of disease, illness, or death (CDC 2015). The CDC and The CDC Foundation are both headquartered in Atlanta. Further, since the CDC Foundation is a public charity it is tax exempt. The obstacles faced by both companies would be a cut in funding. According to one article;
“By every measure our nation is dramatically better prepared for public health threats than we were a decade ago. However, ongoing reductions in public health preparedness and response investments are impacting the national public health infrastructure that prepares for and responds to routine public health threats in addition to terrorist threats, novel infectious diseases, natural disasters, and biological, chemical and nuclear emergencies. Even though funding cuts have been made, CDC still has the responsibility to get the job done and protect the American people from public health threats.” (Frantz 2015).
It seems that this foundation has not yet seen a crisis because of the ignorance among American and global citizens to implement all of the suggestions made by the research generated with the billions of dollars in funding. It is becoming apparent that the main goal of the human race is obviously to achieve immortality with all of this disease prevention and eradication. Its good business practice to be in a field where you study disease or disaster. A fear of death and a combination of public trust and ignorance seems to keep this organizations doors open.
An ethical dilemma that these organizations face is producing research that results in the wide spread use of pharmaceuticals that are injuring and/or killing millions of people worldwide. The legal repercussions for the most part would be the fear of a lawsuit as the result of research passed by a bad drug. An interesting fact to note is a law that was passed 9 years before the creation of the CDC foundation which has determined that “No Vaccine manufacturer, physician, or health facility may be designated a defendant in the proceeding, and there is no determination of legal fault or responsibility for injury”. (The National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program, page 258 para. 1, 1992). Shortly after this law was passed The CDC Foundation came into creation and the American people were left with little recourse if injured by a vaccine. In order for the injured party to get justice they would need to suffer an injury that is already documented with the Vaccine Injury Compensation program. A problem arises when the corruption becomes so out of control that faulty research is provided making vaccine related injuries that are not documented almost impossible to bring the pharmaceutical company to court where they can be held accountable.
The For-profit organization to be examined in this report is that of Merck Pharmaceuticals. The area of interest of this company is “As a global healthcare company, Merck believes it has an important role and responsibility in improving access to medicines, vaccines and quality healthcare worldwide, thereby helping to reduce the burden of disease in the parts of the world that need it most.” (Merck 2015). Merck is headquartered in Kenilworth, NJ but has locations based worldwide with a total of 700,000 employees located in over 50 countries. According to the official Merck website “Our product offering categories include heart and respiratory health, infectious diseases and women's health. We continue to focus our research on conditions that affect millions of people around the world - diseases like Alzheimer's, diabetes and cancer - while expanding our strengths in areas like vaccines and biologics.” (Merck 2015). The goal and mission statements involve providing increased access to healthcare globally by contributing to medical research and disease prevention. They are in the trade of pharmaceuticals and vaccines and had a revenue of over 42 billion dollars, and a net profit of 9.4 billion dollars, in 2014 alone. The United States is currently their biggest customer by contributing over 17 billion of the 42 billion dollar gain. Merck pharmaceuticals has built this medicinal empire by providing services to governments and its citizens globally so has a very special interest in the research that is conducted to pass their products for public use as can be highlighted in their official statement that “ Merck is committed to participating constructively in the political process. Government proposals to regulate the health care system may directly affect the Company's business and incentives for pharmaceutical innovation. Also, there are important policy initiatives that can further the company's goals with respect to increasing patient access to medicines and vaccines, and most importantly, to health care insurance coverage. It is appropriate for the Company to help inform the debate on these issues in the United States and in other countries.”(Merck 2015). It is very clear in this statement that the purpose of Merck pharmaceuticals is to manipulate governments, legislation, and policy as a means to gain a profit. Most people assume that this would be done ethically but as most are finding out this is not the case.
In a publication by Harvard School of Public health a study was conducted to examine the relationship between Merck Pharmaceuticals and the creation of public policy that results from this relationship. The study was focused on the new vaccine Gardasil being put into use and the authors found that “Merck promoted school-entry mandate legislation by serving as an information resource, lobbying legislators, drafting legislation, mobilizing female legislators and physician organizations, conducting consumer marketing campaigns, and filling gaps in access to the vaccine.” (Mello, Abiola, & Colgrove, 2012). While trying to get their vaccination passed into public use this pharmaceutical company focused its campaign by targeting leaders of healthcare and legislation. The study also found that “Legislators relied heavily on Merck for scientific information. Most stakeholders found lobbying by vaccine manufacturers acceptable in principle, but perceived that Merck had acted too aggressively and non -transparently in this case.” (Mello, Abiola, & Colgrove, 2012). In other words, this company paid policy makers and also provided its own research which may have been faulty as a means for financial gain.
The ethical dilemma this company faces is practicing evil deeds under the guise of helping and saving all of humanity. This company is responsible for injury humans globally with research, drugs, and vaccines but is only punished with a slap on the wrist, a fine, and possible public shaming. There are too many laws put into place to protect this corporate giant and as a result of their unethical practices many people are being harmed with little recourse for justice. Further, it has led to the corruption of the CDC and representatives of government as well. After reviewing these facts it seems as if the only crisis this organization will face is if/when it is exposed for its unethical practices and that will not happen until the American government is exposed as well. Currently, there isn’t a systems of checks and balances in place to protect the American public because even their recourse through the court system has been taken away to an extent by the passing of The Vaccine Injury program.
A few of the Vaccines produced and marketed by this organization are: BCG (tuberculosis), Comvax, Gardasil, Gardasil9, MMR, Pneumovax 23, Pro Quad (Measles, mumps, rubella, and varicella), Recombivax HB, RotaTeq, VAXTA, Varivax, and Zostavax to name a few. There is a long list of immunizations on the schedule for children and adults and the government passed the Vaccine Injury Program to safeguard pharmaceutical companies from safeguards and sold this idea to the American people by telling them that these companies made very little profit from the vaccines and did not want to scare the companies away from producing them. A profit of over nine billion dollars in one year being deemed as small should probably be reevaluated. Recently there has been a controversy that the MMR vaccine was the cause of Autism. Activists, parents, and a small circle of professionals agreed with this assumption and a doctor named Andrew Wakefield did a study on this link in 1998 which he still defends as truth to this day. The problem with this study is that a majority of the co-authors have come forward to claim that the study was falsified. Two things could have occurred here; either the study was falsified or the Co-authors were paid off by Merck pharmaceuticals to recant their research and Dr. Wakefield is being used as a scapegoat. When most people bring up the MMR/Autism link they are usually mocked and the target of ridicule yet there are still people out there who claim there is an actual link between the vaccine and the devastating disability of Autism. Since this study was debunked other research has surfaced that supports the claim that there is no link and anyone who questions this link is obviously a little wacky. However, a recent court case has sparked interest in this debate once again. In this case, whistleblowers brought a suit against the drug maker not because the MMR vaccine caused Autism but quite the opposite. The Merck whistleblowers claimed that the vaccine didn’t work at all. The most interesting aspect of this case is that the whistleblowers won their case. After an outcome this grand one is left wondering if maybe this court case is actually a ruse perpetrated by the drug company as a means to cover up the MMR/Autism link. By having a case on record stating that the drug was ineffective then it seems impossible for it to even cause harm in the first place, especially a harm like Autism.
There are two ethical problems resulting from this situation and the situation involves both Merck Pharmaceuticals and the Centers for Disease control. In a recent story published in Newsweek it is stated that “In the 1980s, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) launched efforts to curb measles outbreaks by increasing immunization rates, says Dr. Robert Amler, who led the push. The CDC worked with state legislatures to require every child to provide proof of immunization in order to enroll and stay in public or private school, and began to see reductions in measles cases within four or five years. By 2000, indigenous transmission of measles was stamped out in the U.S., according to Dr. Walter Orenstein, chair of the National Vaccine Advisory Committee and former director of the CDC's National Immunization Program. (Ziv 2015). By looking back at the timeline of the passing of the Vaccine Injury Program put into place to protect drug companies and the push for increased immunizations it becomes apparent after reading Merck’s statement on being involved with public policy that something scrupulous has and is taking place. In one unethical allegation the CDC pushed for the MMR vaccination that Merck produces which may cause Autism. On the other hand, the CDC is pushing for MMR vaccination that is produced by Merck and the vaccinations are ineffective. In both instances the CDC and Merck have made Dr. Wakefield their scapegoat. The CDC and Merck pharmaceuticals may have created the illusion that Dr. Wakefield is a fraud and then placed the blame of the new measles outbreak on his shoulders by pushing parents not to vaccinate. The end result is that no sane citizen will ever again question the MMR/Autism link for fear of being ridiculed. Further, the Center for Disease Prevention and Merck pharmaceuticals will not have to face the consequences of producing, selling, and forcing a placebo vaccination because the blame can be placed on the shoulders of parents who refuse to vaccinate their children. What is interesting about this whole scenario is what Dr. Wakefield himself has to say about the study that lead to ostracism when “He points out that his now infamous study never asserted a causal relationship between the MMR vaccine and autism. “We merely reported the parent’s description of what happened to their children, and the clinical findings,” he says. “We made no claims about the vaccine causing autism. In fact, we said this does not prove an association. And all we urged was further research.” The authors of the paper wrote at the time, “We did not prove an association between measles, mumps, and rubella vaccine and the syndrome described."(Ziv 2015). This is a very interesting statement because of the fact that he was calling on the scientific community to conduct further research on the MMR/Autism link and not only was he shut up but anyone else who would dare do research on the topic would most likely never bring their findings if negative into the light of day.
The CDC and Merck pharmaceuticals not only acted unethically, they did so together. Moreover, these two organizations scratched each other’s backs all the way to the bank and The CDC Foundation was the convenient troy horse which was built as a way for Merck to slither its way through the back door of the White House and nobody suspects a thing. Merck pharmaceuticals is responsible for creating this moral dilemma through unethical business practices while the Centers for Disease control and The CDC Foundation were hopefully involved in the situation because of the outside force. Merck pharmaceuticals and the CDC Foundation are both responsible for this problem. The only way this situation could have been prevented is to leave business out of the creation of research and medicine.
The theory of deontology was used by these organizations because this theory focuses on the action being right or wrong instead of the consequence of the action. The action of producing vaccinations in order to prevent illness or death conforms to what most consider a moral norm. However, the consequences of those actions are wrong. Laws were passed to protect vaccine manufacturers and as a result the public may have suffered the consequences. Moreover, moral relativism is also called into practice and utilized because while the vaccine manufacturers maybe lying about the effectiveness or damage caused by a bad vaccine in this case it seems as if lying to the public may be the right thing to do. If this lie were to be exposed then many parents would never vaccinate their children at all which could cause harm because some vaccinations are effective in preventing illness with no serious side effects. In this case, each citizen has a duty to become vaccinated based on their obligation to the public at large to remain free of preventable illness. It is then up to the moral relativist to decide if the consequences of this unethical practice are right or wrong.
These companies should have used the virtue theory when manufacturing vaccinations, passing laws making them mandatory, and while conducting research to their safety. If this were the theory that were incorporated then it would not matter if the consequences were good or bad. The only thing that would matter is if these decisions were made with the best interest of society in mind.
There is a very obvious relationship between profit and suffering in this case. Through human suffering created by disease and illness a business is making a sickening profit in the name of man- kind. These organizations are inducing fear into the public through mass marketing of their product and the product may not even work or could kill a person. The awful truth is that any research done on these practices or the vaccinations themselves may not even be truthful or fact.
The meaning of running an ethical business involves making decisions based on the assumption that one should do no harm. A business should decide if they are creating harm and to what degree of harm is the result of their business practices or products.
The best way for a company to maintain its competitive edge and to contribute to overall good or happiness for the majority would be to practice honesty and transparency. Once a company is known as being dishonest all of their practices, products, and associates then become scrutinized as well. In theory these organizations have adopted Virtue ethics as a statement of practice but it literally practices the opposite. This type of schizophrenic practice of business ethics have put people around the globe in harm’s way. For these reasons the relationship between these organizations is unethical and should be banned because it has put the public at risk and their best interest violated.
Regards,
Narcissist Problems
References
Budget Request Summary Fiscal Year 2014. (n.d.). Retrieved May 13, 2015, from http://www.cdc.gov/fmo/topic/Budget Information/appropriations_budget_form_pdf/FY2014_Budget_Request_Summary.pdf
The CDC Foundation - Helping CDC do more, faster. (n.d.). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.cdcfoundation.org/who/story
Combined Federal Campaign. (2014). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.cdcfoundation.org/FY20…/combined-federal-campaign
Frantz, P. (2005, February 13). Company profile template. Connexions. Retrieved from http://cnx.org/content/m12649/1.1/
Frequently Asked Questions. (n.d.). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.cdcfoundation.org/FAQ
Honor Gifts. (2014). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.cdcfoundation.org/FY2014/honor-gifts
The National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program. (1992). Retrieved May 17, 2015, from http://content.healthaffairs.org/content/11/1/255.short
The Margaret Ellerbe Mahoney Society. (2014). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.cdcfoundation.org/FY2014/mahoney-society
Mello, M. M., Abiola, S., & Colgrove, J. (2012). Pharmaceutical Companies' Role in State Vaccination Policymaking: The Case of Human Papillomavirus Vaccination. American Journal Of Public Health, 102(5), 893-898. doi:10.2105/AJPH.2011.300576
Memorial Gifts. (2014). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.cdcfoundation.org/FY2014/memorial-gifts
Merck Announces First-Quarter 2015 Financial Results. (n.d.). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.mercknewsroom.com/…/merck-announces-first-quarte…
Merck & Co. Inc's. (n.d.). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://csimarket.com/stocks/compet_glance.php?code=MRK
Mission, Role and Pledge. (2014, April 14). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.cdc.gov/about/organization/mission.htm
MRK's comparison of Quarterly Growth Rates to its Competition. (n.d.). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://csimarket.com/stocks/competitionNO3.php?code=MRK
We support public policies that advance the interests of patients, improve public health and promote access to medicines and innovation. (n.d.). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.merck.com/about/views-and-positions/home.html
Worldwide Contact Information. (n.d.). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.merck.com/contact/contacts.html
Ziv, S. (2015, February 10). Andrew Wakefield, Father of the Anti-Vaccine Movement, Responds to the Current Measles Outbreak for the First Time. Retrieved May 17, 2015, from http://www.newsweek.com/…/andrew-wakefield-father-anti-vacc…

June 3, 2015

Dear Narcissist Problems, "My Therapist Fired Me"


 
 
 
Dear Narcissist Problems,

My therapist recently fired me for a variety of reasons, largely 1) I was starting to depend more on myself than her, 2) I started holding my ground when I thought she was wrong and/or a treatment was not working for me and 3) I was not responding to a particularly traumatic memory of a very traumatic childhood experience in the way that I was 'supposed to' (the way her textbook said I 'ought to'), e.g. I felt angry instead of just scared... but held my ground when she tried to force me to change my responses to suit her model. The last was what prompted the firing itself, the others led up to it. I still have to deal with the traumas of my abusive childhood but am now also dealing with the trauma of the betrayal of trust by my therapist. I am scared to find another therapist and go through all of that again. How do I find someone new to work with? How do I know if I can trust him/her? What are the red flags to look for? How do I respond to red flags - I had tried to respond to some with my last therapist but was rebuffed, so, following the patterns of my childhood, I gave up letting her 'be right' and me to suffer the consequences. Finally, when I couldn't take it anymore she fired me for asserting my needs and wants to her...

Sincerely,

“Fired”

 

 

 

Dear “Fired”,

     It is an amazing day when we do that infamous Google search that forever changes our lives.  For me it was “Mothers who hate their daughters” and BAM!!! Right before my eyes was the one explanation that defined exactly what I had been through for the prior 33 years of my life.  By clicking on that one link “Malignant Narcissists” I found my relationship with my mother described to a T.  This opened the door to meeting others who had experienced my frustration, grief, and inadequacy.  In doing so, we all seemed to be asking the same question; “How do I find a therapist?”  Many of us have experienced therapists who were not trained to deal with this type of disorder, did not understand this disorder, or were adamant on labeling us as flawed and/or defective.  As survivors of this type of abuse we begin our journey down the very lonely road of healing.  When seeking a therapist you will want to interview a few and then finally settle on one who not only understands what you have been through but one who you feel comfortable.  We have spent too many years of our lives being told how to think, feel, and act.  We don’t need this same behavior from our therapists!  I gave some advice the other day and after writing it I would like to retract my statement.  I told a young lady to search for scholarly articles and not to just do random google searches in order to find answers.  I was wrong and I think I said this because the person was young and I was afraid she would encounter more emotional vampires on her road to recovery than need be.  For myself, the path that I found to healing was in doing google searches and reading what others who had lived through this insanity had to say.  I joined support groups online for the days where I needed someone to talk to when life and anxiety was unbearable.  I later started this group.  The best resources I have found to help me heal were from others who had been there.  No amount of therapy could have healed me because I needed to find answers on my own.  I read continuously until I couldn’t read anymore.  I’m talking a whole entire year of nothing but reading on this subject.  When I exhausted my resources I read everything again.  During this year I was running scared and terrified and then I grew angry.  I was angry with my narcissist for stealing so many years of my life.  I think it was a blessing in disguise that your therapist fired you.  You have experienced the red flags of a bad therapist; someone who is telling you how to think or feel, makes you feel ignored/betrayed, who doesn’t listen, and doesn’t truly get what you are saying if they do listen.  If you are uncomfortable with the therapist that is the first huge red flag that you should continue on with your search.  Ask them questions about their experience with narcissistic personality disorder, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, and trauma.  Just because they hold a degree in psychiatry does not mean they will understand this disorder.  Interview them and interview a lot of them until you find one that fits.

Regards,

Narcissist Problems

May 16, 2015

Dear Narcissist Problems, " Crazie Sadie"




Dear Narcissist Problems,

      I'm dealing with a narcissist (an older woman in her late 50's) who's somehow fixated on me. Long story short we attend the same church so I only have to see / deal with her on Sundays. But what complicated it was late last year I was in a jam and she let me stay with her and her family for a couple of months. It was a completely platonic relationship but I believe she created (with the help of her different but equally crazy sister) something in her mind that clearly doesn't exist... Even though I don't look at her, NEVER call her and only say hello briefly and politely on Sundays at church - she still took it upon herself to through me a surprise birthday party last Sunday immediately after service... Now the thing is she knew all too well that I would hate such a thing, which I clearly did as was evident to all by my face and reaction... Lastly from my research it seems she falls into the category of being a passive narcissist... I can't begin to tell you the crazy (seemingly innocent) and highly disturbing crap I had to deal with when I was staying with her... Any advice or suggestions would be highly appreciated... It was an incredibly creepy experience and unfortunately seems to still continue to be... Glad I found you as especially as I don't think she's finished with her "wackiness", as paranoid as that might sound... OK, here's one example - when I got there she already knew that there was a time in my life, not all that long ago, where I struggled with drinking, I had shared that with her. Now fast forward a bit too just shortly after I moved in, we were talking about coffee, how we took ours etc., I told her I take mine black with honey. The next day, or day after that, she shows me where the honey was in the kitchen, and it was in between an pint of over proof Jamaican rum on one side and a bottle of painkillers (heavy duty ones) on the other. Now I know that sounds weird and over the top but it's literally and absolutely the truth... I mean who keeps there honey between a pint of over proof Jamaican rum and pain killers!?!?!?

Sincerely,

“Crazy Sadie"

 

 

Dear “Crazie Sadie”,

     It sounds like you have a case of narcissist problems on your hands and I’m glad you didn’t waste any more precious time before seeking out help and/or advice.  First I would like to say, it’s probably not you, it’s her!  The first observation that you made is that crazy of this breed typically runs in families.  If there is one narcissist there are most likely others who come from the same family nest.  In this case it is the sister consider all others flying monkeys and proceed with caution.  I hope you live in a very big town and if not consider fleeing the planet immediately.  When you made the statement “Whose somehow fixated on me” you could not have been any closer to hitting the nail on the head.  Of course she is fixated on you, from what you describe, she is a narcissist!  True to narcissistic form she has sought out your company because you are providing her with much needed supply be it with negative or positive reactions.  Narcissists use others to fulfill a never ending void within their souls.  She needs you to fill this void and you have been.  By seeking her assistance when you were in your jam you inadvertently turned her into a martyr.  She “cares for you”, she “has done everything in her power to assist you including throwing the birthday party to make you feel special and appreciated (after you have most likely instructed her that you want nothing to do with her), and she has “no idea what she has done for you to treat her so poorly” because of your reaction to the party she threw.  Que world’s tiniest violin.  Now, you used to like your coffee with honey and probably don’t anymore because this simple pleasure now makes you want to fall off the wagon.  This is the thing you and everyone should understand when making an observation of this sort (honey between narcotics and booze).  When we first make a friend we fill them in on little details about our lives which they will use later as ammunition against us.  Your narcissist was not counting on your extreme amount of will power and had probably already started telling others in your circle that she is so “worried for you because his life is in shambles, he is homeless and started binge drinking again and to top it off he is now addicted to painkillers as well and I know because he nearly downed my whole prescription ohhhhh what do I doooooo?!?!?!?!”.  She has most likely turned you into an out of control, pill popping, alcoholic and she just doesn’t know what to do to help you.  I am very sorry to inform you but the smear campaign is most likely already underway and has been for quite some time.  You may want to keep telling yourself that you are being paranoid but let me be the first honest one to give you advice on this; you are not being paranoid.  All those strange glances you are receiving from others who know her or know people who know her is their passive aggressive way to condemn you for the monster she has created you to be.  Others will not ask you about the gossip and rumors.  One place a narcissist loves to hangout is also in a church so now that you have made this connection please be very wary of people in all social settings and brush up on the red flags of an emotional vampire.  There is only one thing left to do and that is to cut off all contact with this person and possibly everyone the two of you know mutually.  If you have to leave the church, town, or country please do so because once a narcissist is fixated on you their attention will not be adverted until one of you has died.  These people go to great lengths to make our lives a living hell so proceed with caution.  Document the crazy.  Even the little stuff that makes you think you are “paranoid”.  Most likely that paranoid feeling is your mind trying to convince your intuition to shut up and act normal.  There is no normal when dealing with narcissist problems and I wish you the best of luck.  This is a true case of kill or be killed, emotionally or physically.  Document the insanity very well and just prepare yourself mentally to end up taking this lady to court eventually.

P.S. Give yourself permission to stop saying hello, even this simple gesture is creating an emotional vampire feeding frenzy.

Regards,

Narcissist Problems

April 15, 2015

Unsent Letter


The Unsent letter,

I’m writing a letter to you for the first time in my life.  This might be the first of many but hopefully not.  I am letting you go this year.  There is nothing that I miss, nothing I remember that was truly loving, or caring.  In fact, in the 34 years I have known you I realize I spent those years trying to make you happy, trying to be good enough, always trying harder, trying to please you, and be “helpful”.  I was your enabler because I allowed you to treat me as your slave and punching bag all of those years because I didn’t know anything different.  Your words are bullets.  Your words slither through an open window on a hot summer night like a serial killer upon its prey.  You are a predator.  When a prey is trying to escape from a predator they run, and run, and run even when out of danger.  The panic does not leave but the prey knows it is still being stalked.  You stalk and destroy.  Now I know this, and the worst part is that you have helpers.  A pack of hyenas’ so sure of yourselves in your abuse and cruelty.  In this cruelty you find pleasure.  Almost two years ago I was forced to leave my home, my town, and everyone who I ever loved in order to stop your abuse and to try to heal from the aftermath of your grand finale.  True to your predator form you continue to stalk and find your prey.  You are now calling me the narcissist because I “abandon” you.  Over and over you sent images of narcissistic behavior that “applies” to me but your only example is that I abandon you.  You said that I am cold hearted and uncaring and you hope you get to watch when I am served the karma I deserve for hurting you by leaving.  As if I had left on a whim to my fairytale life.  By going No Contact with you to preserve my sanity and my family I have now been labeled as your abuser.  You sure do have a string of abusers in your life. After all this time you still hunt me down to poke me with a stick like some possum on the side of the road that you want to make sure is dead.  The things you have done to me it seems like you don’t only want me to disappear now I know with all of my heart you want me dead.  You will not stop until I am dead and you won’t be satisfied until then.  The sick part is that I know you will never kill me yourself, you want me to do it.  For years you have been breaking me down and tearing me apart with every chance you could.  I would feel insane by now, but guess what?  I am not alone.  You consider my abandonment of you as abuse but you are forgetting the long line of people you victimized along your years on this earth.  You say I left everyone because I never cared.  You forgot to add the part where you spent years shredding my relationships to pieces with your lies, slander, gossip, and triangulation.  I left everyone I ever loved because I could no longer trust anybody.  If I confided in someone what you were doing I quickly found out that I was automatically disbelieved because you had made sure to do all of the preventive lying you could manage so nobody would find out what a hideous monster you really are.  It’s easier for all of you to think I am crazy, irrational, and suffering from a mental disorder (whichever disorder you chose to pick for me during that period).  I tried to reach out to people I loved and trusted and they turned their backs on me because they didn’t see what you did to provoke, they only seen my reaction, and you had warned them that I was “losing it”…..and I am a pathological liar.  My relationships were shattered and I was the last to find out when I need my loved ones the most.  The people who did see the truth, because they have been your victims as well and stood up for me, you ridiculed and ostracized them in the same manner all over again.  Harassing us with your false allegations to police and other government officials.  I bet you never seen it coming when you were found out.  Playing the innocent victim and you finally got caught in your web of lies publicly.   Don’t you dare try to turn me into the uncaring bastard child you wish you had aborted?  I realized today, it doesn’t even matter.  I was sad and anxious again knowing the things you were telling people because you wanted me to know.  I’ve had enough, today I am letting you go.  I will not let the fear of YOU control my life any longer.  You have had 35 years to know me in which you spent that time degrading me, humiliating me, punishing me for fun, turning my loved ones against me, You used me as a maid, cook, your bill payer,  as a slave, you tried to wreck my marriage, you tried to use the courts to kidnap my children,  You made false allegations to government officials anonymously and all the while you smiled and played the caring martyr role acting as if you had no idea why I was being investigated by police, child protective services, or the IRS.  Months of investigations and each time this was your “evidence” that I was unstable.  You never even had the fear of getting caught in your deceit until it finally happened and then you continued to play the victim.  You were following your heart, I will never forget those words after all was said and done.  You enjoyed every second of the nightmare you created in my life but I should forgive you because you were following your heart.  At that moment I knew that in your heart you wanted to destroy me and there never was a reason except you enjoyed watching my pain and you always have.  I can’t have contact with you because you tried to ruin my life, you tried to legally kidnap my children, and then when all else failed you tried to have my husband deported.  There are no lengths you will not go to in order to create chaos and drama and all the while you sit there with your tub of movie theater popcorn watching in delight.  The only thing that gives me any solace about what happened is that you got caught and then I am reminded of the horrors you tried to get away with and the anxiety is refreshed.  Yes I have trust issues and I think I have earned them.  I have spent this time away from you analyzing every awful thing that has happened to me in my life and now I know it was all planned.  You planned all of the horrible things you did in my life because you enjoyed my pain.  You made me want to disappear every time you tried to ruin my self -esteem by pointing out my body flaws in front of anyone who would participate in the criticism.  You have called me a drug addict, a thief, a liar, and a whore and “no wonder nobody likes you” when it was really you who is the addict, the thief, and the liar.  You made keys to my homes and let yourself in and took whatever you desired.  You did this to others as well and then you blamed me.  I never found out about this until your “grand finale”.  For years people have been treating me as if I was a disease and I never knew why until the end.  The truth has a funny way of coming to light, in this case, in a courtroom.  I have spent my life anxious and inadequate always trying harder to please people thinking if only I loved more and did more people would like me.  People were never going to like me as long as you are around and I know this now.  Not only were the people not going to like me I was a horrible judge on the kind of people who I should want to like me.  I am finally starting to love myself and respect myself.  I am slowly letting people into my life who are good people, kind, caring, supportive, reassuring, loving, funny, loyal, trustworthy, happy, and whole.  I will no longer tolerate people who use and disrespect me and I’m OK being alone if that is what I need to do to create an amazing life.  The loneliness I have endured has been enough to last five lifetimes.  The utter isolation.  The Lack of boundaries.  During your grand finale it was like an explosion of bullshit.  In one week I was being investigated by the government, my boss fired me, and all of my “friends” were whispering about the horrible things I had done.  I was the last to find out about all of those horrible things I was guilty of.   You called my boss and let her in on my “troubles” and then I was fired that week.  Then you contacted everyone who ever knew me to let them in on my problems.  You decided to become a foster parent because you thought the government would pay you every month for my children instead of getting a job.  You have never had a job.  You have spent your life using people.  YOU HAVE NEVER HAD A JOB.  You will never use my children. I’ve carried around your guilt and shame for too many years to count and today I am giving it back to you.  I’m sick of walking around feeling permanently flawed and damaged as if I have a thick layer of disgusting slime covering my repugnant body.  You and they can all think what you want and you can keep threatening to “find me” but guess what?  I am done running away from you.  I have been running away from YOU.  You destroy people and lives and you are never going to change and you will never again guilt me into coming back because I am mean, cruel, and uncaring because I refuse to let you trample my boundaries and my heart.  You are a murderer.  You murder souls and you enjoy it and you will never stop.  I know this now and I am done.  Keep stalking your prey and pretending to be the victim when others are around.  When I was younger and in therapy you told me something that never made sense until recently “You can’t talk about what goes on in our house or they will take you away to foster care”.  To me that was the worst thought imaginable and I was your ally.  You no longer have the power to silence me.  I will no longer hide my life and my experiences to protect you.  The monster in this relationship is not the monster you have made everyone to believe that I am.  The monster is you and your lies, and rage, your sneakiness, your manipulation, and all the hurt you have done to me and to others.  I watched my whole life as you provoked people until they reacted and watched as you so innocently played the victim.  You play the victim so well that you got away with your abuse while your true victims had to deal with police and courts.  You are the epitome of all that is evil in human nature.  So take your threats of me “having what’s coming for you” and “I will find you in this age of technology” and shove them up your pathetic ass.  I refuse to live my life being scared and anxious.  I refuse to feel like a “bad girl” every day.  I refuse to live my life believing I am flawed and damaged.  I am finished feeling like I do not deserve to be loved or respected.  Today I am officially taking my thoughts and my life away from you.  I refuse to be and feel manipulated, condemned, bashed, censored, silenced, humiliated, degraded, disgraced, dishonored, chastised, ashamed, embarrassed, mortified, horrified,  guilt ridden, damaged, diseased, contaminated, ostracized, detested, eradicated, erased, lied to, lied about, slandered, triangulated, pushed aside, blamed, accused, intimidated, coerced, blackmailed, bullied, extorted, attacked, tormented, oppressed, tortured, haunted, hated, tainted, taunted, threatened, or terrorized by another human being ever again for the rest of my life.  You can have all of that back.  I will mourn your loss as if you had already died.  There is only moving forward and that is what I plan to do.  Heal, rebuild, restore, grow, mature, learn, love, show and receive affection, dance, cry, feel, absorb and engage in life, and laugh.  You no longer have the power to take these things away from me.  I will spend every day for the rest of my life setting goals and reaching them successfully because I am good enough.

Sincerely,

Narcissist Problems

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