Dear Narcissist Problems,
I work
with the local domestic violence advocacy group to help my children and I deal
with their father and my ex. Our counsellors have expressed that in the
addition to his abuse he displays behavior characterized by narcissistic
personally disorder. Of course, they cannot make an official diagnosis without
him as their client, but from books I have read to help cope there may as well
be a picture of him. I stumbled across this sight yesterday and I can't believe
how your posts and statements hit the nail on the head. It's a struggle to deal
with this and seeing your posts brings some relief knowing I'm not losing my
mind and there are people out there like this. I just wish law enforcement and
child protection groups could be more educated in recognizing this type of
behavior. The narcissistic is adept at putting on the act and getting away with
crime. Thank you.
Regards,
“Enlightened”
Dear “Enlightened”,
I
would like to say Kudos to your local Domestic Violence Advocacy group because
they even considered that you could be being abused by a narcissist! Give those women and men a medal! As you have probably realized by now you are
one of the very few people who found their way without doing that infamous google
search looking for answers. This is
exactly why I do what I do here because not many people do know or have heard
of Narcissistic Abuse. This traps victims
in situations of abuse for YEARS because they start to believe the problem
really is them after years of the narcissist eroding their self-esteem and
perception of reality. Sana Loue, J.D.,
Ph.D., M.P.H., wrote an article on the legal implications of emotional and
psychological abuse which stated; “Emotional abuse, a label often used
synonymously with the terms emotional maltreatment, psychological battering,
psychological abuse, and soul murder, has been called “the most elusive and
damaging of all types of maltreatment for a child” and represents “the core
issue and most destructive factor across all types of child abuse and neglect”
(Loue 2005). Here we have one of the
most destructive forms of abuse and there is little recognition of it in the
healthcare field or legal systems. The
article further illustrates that “The very elusiveness, however, of the
identification of emotional and psychological abuse casts doubt on the accuracy
of available data relating to its occurrence, and it is likely that the
incidence and prevalence of such abuse are subject to significant
underreporting”(Loue 2005). So not only
is this type of abuse very difficult to identify victims are also not reporting
it. The ones who have reported it are
left feeling disbelieved, discouraged, and shattered. This is how and why many of us in this
community have reached out into the public to share our stories and offer
support to others living through hell.
I know you didn’t really ask a question but
you said something that I would really like to highlight “seeing your posts
brings some relief knowing I'm not losing my mind and there are people out
there like this. I just wish law enforcement and child protection groups could
be more educated in recognizing this type of behavior.” (Enlightened
2016). Dealing with a narcissist we know
they will destroy our lives and the way in which they do it leaves us looking
insane, unstable, irrational, and the list goes on. While we try to maintain any resemblance of
being the normal rational human beings we are once a narcissist gets their
hands on someone who has control over your life such as a lawyer, police
officer, or judge it usually means game over for us. Some of us have watched our therapists be
manipulated against us through couples counseling and then that same therapist
will be utilized for court. Some
narcissists will call child protective services on us and then play the role of
caring adult in our children’s lives to manipulate the state against us
resulting in the loss of our children. It was seen that “definitional issues
further compound the difficulties associated with the identification,
documentation, prosecution, and prevention of emotional and psychological abuse”
(Loue 2005). It’s no wonder that nothing
is being done in the legal field to prosecute abusers and protect victims as we
can’t expect laws to be written when there is no clear definition on what it
means to have your soul murdered.
What is my point here? It is essential that when you find out what
narcissistic abuse is and that you have been abused you need to spread
awareness of this type of abuse. More
than that, as many of us do, go out of our ways to support each other when we
see a victim getting abused further by people in positions of power or
authority because they don’t fully understand or recognize what emotional or
psychological abuse looks like. You will
see many survivors going to court to show support, campaigning for funds for
court cases, starting petitions, or simply blogging to get the word out. It’s imperative that we take on this
responsibility, when ready, so that narcissists do not get away with their
crimes. You do not need a special degree
or a certification to become an advocate for victims of Narcissistic
Abuse. All that you need is your voice,
your story, and your passion. The more who
get involved with this effort the sooner we will see legislation and policies
being passed that not only recognize this type of abuse but also the prosecution
of the abusers. The way to do this is to
just get out there and get involved by finding and joining others with a
similar cause which is typically experience specific. Good luck to you on your healing journey!
Regards,
Narcissist Problems
Loue, S. (2005).
Redefining the emotional and psychological abuse and maltreatment of children:
legal implications. Journal Of Legal Medicine, 26(3), 311-337
27p.