Showing posts with label Cyber bully. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cyber bully. Show all posts

August 2, 2015

Dear Narcissist Problems "Flew the Coup"


Dear Narcissist Problems,

I need some advice.  I am in the middle of a divorce with my abuser and he has essentially "romanced" everyone I know into thinking that I am the wrong doer. He is so suave in that way that he has convinced my attorney that I have done wrong. I'm not sure what do or if there is some way that I could point my attorney to the "idea" of my abusers narcissistic ways without coming across as slandering him.  He has convinced everyone including my attorney, (somehow) that I had an affair and that I left for no reason. Everyone thinks our life was "perfect" and because I'm on disability for several mood disorders, he has my attorney convinced that I am out of my mind. He continues to track my cell phone (though my carrier is not sure how he keeps doing it).  He used me as a tool to abuse my son who is now almost 20. And though my son hated him over the last 12 years he has now turned his back on me and sides with my husband who is not his biological father.  I always tried to defend my son and stick up for him. But my husband would wear me down with constant arguments telling me how bad of a mother I was and if I didn't listen my son would turn out to be a "hood rat" as he called it.  He used to be a deputy in a neighboring county and I found out recently that he was fired because he lied on his application.  I tried to hide in another state and had all of my records redacted so that he would not know my location. But he told my attorney exactly where I live. That's how I found out he has been tracking my phone.  I guess my attorney now assumes that I'm loopy and told him where I was going. We were together for 12 years and I was placed on disability 10 years ago. Update: I've reached out to my attorney and had a little heart to heart with him. I guess I just jumped the gun on his responses to me. He was very understanding and said that his suggestion to settle for less was an effort to keep me from having to endure anymore emotional trauma. He had seen how drastic my demeanor/behavior changed when being faced with my ex-husband (soon to be ex-husband). He knew I had been through some bad things with my ex.

Sincerely,

“Flew the Coup”

Dear “Flew the Coup”,

     I’m glad to hear everything turned out well with your attorney but have you considered possibly getting a consult with a few other attorneys to see what they say?  It is a conflict of interest if your soon to be Ex is having conversations about you with your attorney.  I’m glad to hear that things are coming to a close for you. As for your son, there is not much you can do about the situation because he is an adult so all you can do is respect his decision.  I wouldn’t even bring it up in conversation because that will make you look like the bad guy.  Try your best to leave him out of it.  Narcissists are masters of manipulation and I wouldn’t doubt if he was buying your sons support or simply making up lies and passing them off as truth.  I found that when you are in the midst of a smear campaign there is little you can do to protect yourself from the gossip because people rarely ask for your version.  Keep documenting the crazy and file police reports if need be.  I would contact your local court house and see a victims advocate about the E-stalking.  In my own experience, the police won’t do much unless you have been harmed even if you have a P.O. against the nut case.  The good news is that laws are beginning to change and this type of harassment is starting to become more recognized.  You just might get lucky and find someone who is willing to step up to the plate and help you protect yourself against electronic stalking.  The first steps I would take is throwing that cell phone in the garbage and getting a prepaid with no paper trail back to you.  Get a P.O. Box and just wait it out.  I would love to help more with the electronic stalking but I’m finding myself in the same situation where nobody will help unless they show up on my doorstep.  It’s amazing to me because we get stalking orders so that our stalkers stop following us and tormenting us but we find little protection when they find our locations electronically and just have to wait in fear until they show up.  If any of the readers does have a stalking order and police took electronic violations seriously please message the page and let us know what happened!  Good Luck to you!

Regards,

Narcissist Problems

June 17, 2015

Dear Narcissist Problems "I Can't Sit With Them"


Dear Narcissist Problems,

Anon please! I and a group of online friends have been targeted by a woman we thought was our friend. We were all in a secret support group on Facebook, but gradually she took over which resulted in the group becoming a negative place with members banned, bullying of outsiders, and people flocking to her like flies on shit. I had foresight and chose to unfriend her and leave before it got too dark and negative for me. She noticed straight away that we weren't friends anymore, and started an online hate campaign, turning people against me. She told people I was talking about them behind her back, told them I was a scam artist, and generally smeared my name. I lost my online business, I lost friends, and I got depressed and withdrawn and stopped leaving the house. I've had to get a new Facebook account and block everyone from that group. This girl now admins a larger Facebook group, and has turned everyone in there against me as well now. Even though I've blocked her, she's still finding ways to get to me online. What do I do? I've debated going to the police due to feeling unsafe. I'm in the UK. She's actually well-known as she was breastfeeding in public and someone took a picture and called her a tramp, so she's been on the news defending breastfeeding and has set up a campaign called free to feed. It's a bit ironic that someone famous for standing up to Internet bullies is an Internet bully herself. This profile is a whole new profile, but a girl who was my real life friend told her about this profile. I and my friends have saved a lot of screen shots, not enough though I fear as we didn't realize at the time what was going on.

Sincerely,

“Can’t sit with them”

 

Dear “Can’t sit with them”,

     I have experienced this secret group bullying to an extent.  There have been a few secret groups I have joined and been bullied out of actually.  At one point, I was supporting one of the women to do a retreat.  I thought it was a great idea.  However, because I did not use my own pictures on my profile she began questioning my gender. (It was a female only group)  I understood the fear that maybe I could have been a man, I knew I wasn’t a man and had actually belonged to this group for a few months without problem.  She began taunting me and she wanted to Skype to ensure I was in fact a female.  It was totally ridiculous and I eventually replied, “Would you like a picture of my vagina??? Is that proof enough??”  I don’t think she really had an issue with my body parts she was just trying to create a hostile environment.  It turned into a debate on what kind of profiles are acceptable.  I had no problem sharing “myself” with the admin but we join secret groups for a reason, privacy.  To avoid stalking and further harassment.  To gain support in our weakest moments.  The woman was a predator in sheeps clothing and I see it happen a lot.  I typically avoid these people unless I am forced to react and then I only react directly to the issue and not at the emotional provokations.  She was the same type of personality you describe here, cruelness guised as a victim saint and people flocked to her like flies on shit on a hot summer day.  Let them have each other.  What a nightmare you have been through and I hope you have screen shots of what happened.  I know you are in the UK but in the United States there are laws against libel (written slander) and you should be able to sue her in civil court for the destruction of your name and loss of business. Start a new business with a different name, don’t let her destroy you.  I would get a free consult with an attorney ASAP.  Wow, this is exactly how we end up with anon profiles in the first place.  You need to stand up to this bully and do not let her intimidate you into submission.  A covert narcissist usually takes on the role of the martyr or victim of some sort and it seems to be working for her well.  I would contact the police if necessary and defiantly go talk to a lawyer.  Don’t share anymore personal information with anyone who knows her.  It seems like the friend who told her your real name was nothing more than a flying monkey trying to catch a ride on the 15 minute fame train.  Know the red flags and please don’t hesitate to message again.  You shouldn’t feel so alone but I do recommend making another profile but keeping this one open just to collect evidence of the harassment.  If you can have a person who is totally removed from the situation check your messages for you and remove any real life photos so they don’t get spammed out in the smear campaign.  Good Luck to you and remember you are not alone! 

Regards,

Narcissist Problems

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