Dear Narcissist Problems,
I need some help... I've followed your page
for a while. I recently left a narcissistic person... not gonna say man because
he's not. He's also an alcoholic sits there all day drinking beer. He also
drives drunk. I should have left sooner but what made me angry and explode was
him having his ex slut sending him nudes....I Confronted him... He claims he
never replied back but yet messages are still there. I told him we are over as
he didn't care about how hurt I was after seeing that... every time I'd talk
he'd walk away like a child. Now he's psychologically messing with me. Mentally
and emotionally... only issue is here the laws are he's on my lease. And have a
child together... he's using that as an excuse to stay... and “work it
out" I don't want to... I'm hurt and tired of fighting. And as per keeping
the child from him I have every right to since he drinks...but how did you get
rid of a narcissistic person for good?
Sincerely,
“Can’t get rid of him”
Dear “Can’t get rid of him”,
How did I get rid of my narcissistic person for good? It took a battle in court, an extreme amount
of documenting the crazy so people would believe me, a restraining order for
stalking, moving to another state in the middle of the night so I wouldn’t be
followed, driving in circles in the wrong direction in case I was followed,
finally ending up at my destination, changing my cell phone number, not using
my address on ANYTHING, using a “safe address” for anything court related (trusted
friend with no contact with narc/P.O. Box), losing my entire family (except one
member thank god), changing my children’s names legally, and living in fear and
anxiety for almost two years. I know the
pain you are going through and I am sorry but your question “how did you get
rid of a narcissistic person for good?” has one answer there is no easy way to
leave a narcissist. Leaving a narc for
good is not something that happens overnight.
It is not an easy task and is going to require an unlimited amount of
courage and strength. Be prepared to
lose a lot of people you care about in this process; friends, family, and
anyone else the narc knows mutually.
Your first step is going to speak with a family law attorney. Most attorneys will give you a free consult
so you will know where you stand and what steps you need to take. As for keeping your child from him, you don’t
have the right to unless it is court ordered.
If you begin to keep the child from him you will be considered the
parental alienator, regardless of his drinking and behavior. You want to have his bad behavior well
documented with police. The first step
is getting him out of your home. Go
speak with your landlord about this situation and a lawyer. I’m pretty sure there is a way (if you give
him legal notice) to have him removed from the lease if you agree to take it on
by yourself. We are never trapped but it
takes a lot of leg work to get out of these situations. You could also make a visit to the local
police department to see if they can give any advice on what to do. I know you say he is a drunk and a cheater
but these things alone are not considered abusive. Drinking around a child is a parenting
conflict so call the police and ask them what you should do if he is drinking
alone around the child. You want to be
prepared and have a plan. When you leave
a narcissist without a plan you will have hell to pay (you will have hell to
pay either way but hell isn’t as hot if you have a plan). Every step you take will be twisted around to
make you look like the bad guy so cross your T’s and dot your I’s. Don’t leave any detail unchecked or
undocumented. You have a long road ahead
of you and if you want to rid yourself of a true narc you better do everything
legally and by the book. Save all his
emails and text messages. Document your
conversations. Call the police if you
need to! Good luck to you and keep us
updated on your journey!
Regards,
Narcissist Problems
