July 30, 2017

Exactly how a Narcissist will Convince others You are Crazy

The crazymaking, allegations, and triangulations of a narcissistic abuser

I’ve been heavily immersed into the topic of narcissists and what they do for almost five years now.  Every day I receive emails from people looking for advice on what to do in their specific situation with the narcissist in their life.  I’ve heard from mothers, daughters, sisters, brothers, lovers, married people, people dating, coworkers, and the list goes on and on and on.  We all know the harm that is created when we allow a narcissist into our lives because these people are boundary less.  They have no moral compass and an extreme sense of entitlement. 
            One of the biggest observations I have made not only through my own experience but by listening to others is that a narcissist literally steals everything from you right down to your own identity.  By the time you find a way out, you are no longer you.  The ultimate slap in the face is in the form of NEVER using your own name on the internet.  You can’t use your name or address or risk losing it all as they hunt you down again.
What has prompted me to write today is a situation a friend of mine has gone through.  I’ve been Missing in Action from this blog and social media for about a month now due to this situation.   I met this friend at work a few years ago and she slowly opened up to me.  I can’t post in too much detail as she has a pending court case and I’m sure her narcissist probably knows about this blog and subsequent social media pages.  Her situation is unreal and has left me wondering how many narcissists actually suffer from Munchausen Syndrome.  This came to me the other night while sorting through her evidence and compiling what has turned into 250 pages of nothing but physical evidence collected from police reports, hospital reports, and even videos the narcissist had taken while taunting my friend.
I was supposed to meet my friend for coffee and possibly a bed after she told her narcissist she wanted a divorce last month.  Instead I was met by her boss who had informed me that she had been taken by men in white jackets to the local hospital in which I immediately rushed to demanding to know where my kidnapped friend was.  I haven’t left her side since that night and I’m on a mission to find some closure for her.
            Over the past two weeks a very clear and disturbing picture has been painted of the hellish nature of her situation where she was literally isolated from EVERYONE.  This narcissist even extorted and blackmailed her family for money by threatening to “expose secrets” probably fabricated because that is what narcissists do to intimidate others.
             To make matters worse she had a history of depression which escalated in police reports where the narcissist literally had the police department stalking her for him because they thought she had schizophrenia because she was “paranoid” and “hearing voices” (I’m am beyond pissed about her experienced as I worked with her every single day for over a year and know she is sane and normal).  Each and every time she tried to leave, the narcissist would call the police and tell them she had mental illnesses and was off her medication.  To make matters worse he was telling people that he was her “care taker” which led to his attempt to get a Power of Attorney over her which he actually tells the police he obtained. 
The sick part is that in each video the narcissist had filmed in an attempt to paint her as being crazy it becomes obvious who is provoking the arguments.  Using an even tone and usually taunting, yet trying to sound calm, he would follow her around their home while saving the portions of the tape that made him “look good”.   Then these arguments then escalated to the police being called only when she was filmed finally reacting. 
He had somehow enlisted the help of a therapist who happens to live across the street which is the tip of the iceberg so to speak.  The therapist became involved in the threats towards her saying that if she did not comply with the narcissist then they would have her committed involuntarily to the psych ward.  These threats led to her going to the hospital voluntarily when made because she then had the choice of an indefinite amount of time in the psych ward or 3 days if she went willingly.  Keep in mind she had a career so she began opting to check herself into the ER for mental health examines. 
He and the therapist came up with Rules for her to live by which is very important in understanding that each and every fight was about her not complying with these rules.  He accused her of being addicted to Caffeine and this escalated into her being admitted to the ER and having the police called when she left the house one day after arguing because she had drunk 4 cups of coffee that day.  In his self-made videos, he tells her “Your addiction is out of control and you have to take responsibility for your actions”.  Moreover, she had an eating disorder when she was younger.  When they would fight for an entire day she would sometimes get sick and vomit due to being so upset.  The narcissist forced her to go to the ER for self-harm stating that it was due to an eating disorder.
The “contract” the narcissist had made:

Behavior and Agreed Upon Consequences:

1.  Caffeine/Beverages – secreting extra coffee or soda will result in one less for day for coffee, 2 less for soda
2.  Lying/Deception – other bedroom
3.  Yelling/name calling – other bedroom
4.  Complaining of any kind – will need to count number of complaints from then on for rest of day and (narcissist) is free to voice complaints repetitively till it stops
5. Going to bed early or sleeping during day – (narcissist) can go out with friends
7. Smoking – other bedroom until it stops
8. Not Eating All Lunch/Snacks – no coffee in morning

(he forced her to eat lunch at work on facetime so he could watch her eat)

9. Stealing caffeine pills or anything else from store – no coffee in morning
10. Vomiting – No coffee next morning
11. Psychotic/uncontrolled behavior (asking for divorce or access to her own bank account as she was not allowed to have money) – do not see (son) as determined by (narcissist)

Light bulbs with speakers

We discovered that (narcissist) actually placed light bulbs with speakers in them around the house and made her believe she was hearing voices which sounded always like background radio talk or whispering.  Additionally, we found a business card from a home security service and the entire house had interior monitoring equipment installed - we have found some of it.  There is a video he had made where he is telling her he called her doctor about her “hearing voices” and she was later forced to check herself into the hospital for “hearing voices.  He took the following pictures which were found on a SIM card in the home last month.

(He took pictures of the devices and where he placed them as well as video of him calling her doctor and the hospital records from her forced visit to the ER for “hearing voices)  

Promptly taken to the ER for evaluation of purported psychosis...
All identifying information has been removed.

She asked for divorce

Keep in mind narcissist did not work and the bank account was in her name only from before being married…. And he had siphoned almost 100k from her over the past 5 years.
Make a note that he has never been Power of attorney over her and now has the help of a psychologist and the bank account closed was her own account after she found out he had stolen over 100K out of the account.

The day she wanted a divorce and meant it.

Hospital report after transport from police department

Her friend that she called was, drum roll please……. Narcissist    Problems………. Sorry for his bad luck.


This is a VERY brief summary of an account with a narcissist that has spanned over 5 years.  This is being shared because this victim deserves to be heard after being silenced for so long.  Further, this is an example of how a narcissist will manipulate and triangulate even government agencies and professionals to do their dirty work for them under the guise of being a caring and concerned loved one.  Loved ones do not use your status of depression or depressive mood disorders to paint you into being an illogical, irrational, and downright psychotic mental patient all while exploiting your financial resources.  More will be added to this at another date so for now I will leave it as it is with the documentation to speak for itself.  I will be updating this later with ways to protect yourself against this insanity.  I do have to say…. this one really made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.  Stay safe!

Narcissist    Problems