Showing posts with label narcissist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label narcissist. Show all posts

March 15, 2017

The best way to get revenge on a Narcissist


The Best Ways of Getting Revenge on a Narcissist


Dear Narcissist Problems,



I have been with a narcissist for 3 years and he abruptly ended it. I don't know where to start but he is the one who fell in love with me and proposed to me. He was what I thought was an understanding person and respected me. But as time was passing by his colors were shown, angry!!!! Selfish!!! But yet I continued to love him. Then he started accusing me for so many things which I thought “Why am I getting accused??” He would call me a liar when I would start to explain why I didn’t do what he was accusing me of doing.

My Narcissistic Ex Keeps calling me Crazy

By the 2nd year he started calling me insane. He used to tell me that repeated mistakes are insanity but my repeated mistake was just “nagging” him for his love. I think that is a common characteristic of women and I used to tell him that I am not insane. I would again explain and defend myself. As time was going along he started calling me an idiot, that I have “no brains” that I “have an understanding problem”, “insane” and I was really pissed.

He has Characteristics of a narcissist

He started using his recovery terms on me when he has to apply them to his life and not mine. Then he started using these words every day and he stopped communicating with me. At first I was in bad shape thinking it was all my fault. But I came to this page and I was so relieved that it's not my fault and these are the characteristics of a narcissist.
He really made me feel like I am the worst person on earth and he the best. Nothing was his problem and he left me because of my “INSANE” personality. But now I know I am not insane and it's him!!!! All I want to say is I am still trying to recover from his verbal abuse as he was manipulating me with his satisfactory terms of life. God knows who the hell can deal with a narcissistic personality disorder!! I’m still trying to recover but the anger I have for him is too much. I still cry while thinking of how he made fun of my love for him. Calling me stupid and insane as if I were desperate. But the anger is what comes around, comes around, and comes around… he will definitely pay for what he has done to me. I wanted to ask if narcissists will ever think they have done anything wrong or  do narcissists ever feel guilty? Hurting someone so much and they can live a happy life?
Sincerely,

I want Revenge

Dear “Revenge”,

            I’m really glad that you found your way here too because the first thing I would like to say is to let go of wanting any pay back or revenge. The best way to get revenge on this jerk is to become hell bent on understanding narcissism and narcissistic abuse so that you don't end up in another relationship like this one and healing yourself. The number one best way to get revenge on a narcissist is by living a happy life filled with people who love you! Holding onto the anger of what you have been through with a narcissist will end up eating you alive. Moreover, it will keep you trapped in a vicious cycle of enmeshment with this person. He isn’t worth it. Think of the years you spent already trying to make things work with him. You don’t want to spend any more years trying to make him realize how much he has hurt you because he never will. If he does realize then he just does not care.

Do Narcissists Ever feel like they have done anything wrong?

You are asking some very great questions. Does he feel he has done anything wrong? This could go two ways with a narcissist really because they have very distorted thinking. In the first instance he may have justified his actions and bad behavior to himself making what he has done “ok” in his mind. The second instance is that yes he knows exactly what he is doing and he did it on purpose. Either way, he hurt you and would have only continued to hurt you and when he crawls back to you DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK!!!! He will never change so keep in mind when you are feeling nostalgic that narcissists only change their outfits and their victims.

Why do narcissists do what they do?

Why narcissists do what they do will remain a mystery for anyone who has empathy. We can examine their behavior, we can be involved with disordered individuals, and we can even have family that do cruel things. The biggest question that many survivors of narcissistic abusers have is if they feel bad or guilty about what they have done to us. From personal experience, I don’t think they will ever feel bad as far as we go. They might display remorse occasionally but when they do it is typically to further manipulate us. Once they have their mind set on abusing or exploiting someone it seems the only thing they learn to do is change their tactics when they get caught.

Narcissists are unlikely to feel remorse or guilt because they have no empathy

As for remorse or guilt it is highly unlikely. I shared a video the other day from Simon Baron-Cohen of whom I just became familiar with his work. Cohen has a very interesting perspective on the human personality as he utilizes research from multiple disciplines while searching for the answers for why people behave cruelly or why people do evil things. He investigates research from developmental psychology, neuroscience, genetics, and psychiatry to explain why some people lack empathy. He goes further to distinguish known disorders where empathy or reaction are limited specifically those diagnosed with autism and psychopaths.
Simon Baron-Cohen FBA is Professor of developmental psychopathology at the University of Cambridge in the United Kingdom. He is the Director of the University's Autism Research Centre, and a Fellow of Trinity College. Seems like a pretty nifty title right? Well FBA is short for Functional Behavior Assessment and is a process that identifies specific target behavior, the purpose of the behavior, and what factors maintain the behavior. What I find really interesting about his work is the connections he makes with research regarding empathy.

Are Narcissists Evil?

He recently wrote a book that covers how empathy works and why some people turn into psychopaths and also the different types of empathy or lack of.  I would suggest checking out his book The Science of Evil : On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty because I think it would help you understand why your narcissist has done what he has done and his ultimate feelings about it which could help you find some closure.
Unsatisfied with the explanation of atrocities being “because those who commit them are evil” Cohen has been on a mission since childhood to find an exact answer as to how people can be so cruel and why. Which is great for anyone who has suffered at the hands of a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath. We need answers on the cellular level of our beings as to why and how our abuser could have done the things they did to us when all we wanted was to love and to be loved by them. In this book he says that the term evil is an easy way out of explaining anything on the subject so he refers to this behavior as “empathy erosion”.
Further, “empathy erosion can arise because of corrosive emotions, such as bitter resentment, or desire for revenge, or blind hatred, or a desire to protect, or the result of permanent psychological characteristics.” He completely dissects the debate of nature VS. Nurture and comes to the conclusion that psychopaths are cruel because of both nature and nurture. When people suffer from empathy erosion this is when people get turned into objects. They are no longer considered to be “people” with feelings or emotions. Those who suffer from a lack of empathy have no more concern for their victims than they would a pair of shoes.
If you hang out around survivors of cluster B disordered individuals long enough you will come to find that these are some pretty amazing people. Survivors are beautiful on the inside but they didn’t become that way due to the abuse of a narcissist or a psychopath. They were always that way. So when you say why did he do this to me, why did he make me feel stupid, why did he need to show me that he was better than me it is for one reason alone: He is intimidated by how intelligent and amazing you are and he needed to destroy something beautiful?

Narcissist steal objects and qualities from their victims

Another thing they do is try to “steal” the qualities of their victims so they mentally absorb all they find valuable in you and then they try to make it seem as if those qualities never existed in you in the first place. They are after something that you have whether it is physical like money or property or spiritually/ mentally like the essence of who you are. When they become hell bent on stealing from someone either physically, mentally, or spiritually they only focus on what they are wanting. They no longer see you as a person.
 In his book Cohen explains the why and how people can do cruel things with one example:
Erosion of empathy is a state of mind that can be found in any culture. In 2006 I was in Kenya with my family on holiday. We landed in Nairobi, a massive international city swirling with people. Sadly, Nairobi is home to one of the largest slums in Africa. People sleeping on the streets, mothers dying of AIDS, malnourished children begging or doing anything they can to survive. I met Esther, a young Kenyan woman, one of the fortunate ones who had a job. She warned me to be careful of the rising crime in Nairobi.
“I was in the supermarket,” she said. “Suddenly, a woman near me who was paying for her groceries let out a scream. A man behind her had cut off her finger. In the commotion, the man slid the wedding ring off the severed finger and ran off into the crowds.”
This is a shocking example of what one person can do to another. Formulating the plan to go out into the crowded supermarket to steal is easy enough to comprehend, especially if a person is starving. Formulating the plan to take a knife along is a bit harder to identify with, since it indicates clear premeditation to cut something.
But for me the key is to imagine the mind of the person in the seconds just before the act of cutting. At that very moment presumably all that is visible to the thief is the target (the ring), a small object that could feed him for weeks. All that is lying between him and his next meal is the woman’s finger that has to be severed. The fact that the finger is attached to a hand is mere inconvenience, and cold logic points to the solution: Detach it. The fact that the hand is attached to a person, with her own life and her own feelings, is at that moment irrelevant. Out of mind. It is an example of turning another person into, no more than, an object. My argument is that when you treat someone as an object, your empathy has been turned off.”

Narcissists see their victims as objects and not people

So when you ask will a narcissist ever feel guilty for hurting you…. I think the only answer is No he knew what he was doing but he just did not care because he has zero empathy for your pain. You had something that he desperately wanted. There really is no difference between this supermarket thief and your ex-boyfriend in regards to how they feel about their victims.
It is going to take a really long time to recover from this relationship. Being angry is a natural response to injustice and a violation of who we are as human beings. Wanting to be loved and wanted is a normal human behavior. Gaining someone’s love just too consistently reject, criticize and tear them down is not a normal human behavior and you should avoid anyone who does this to you because they will slowly kill you over time.
You are going to need some support while you heal from this. You should also get into therapy as soon as possible with a professional who specifically treats patients who have suffered from trauma. As for a support system I invite you to make an anonymous profile and join our support group. Also read and research all that you can about this personality disorder because it will help you heal to understand what you have been through. These people put us through so much that it is hard to identify or explain it to ourselves much less to anyone else. Good luck to you on your healing journey, you got this!
Regards,





Get a copy of The Science of Evil

Baron-Cohen, S. (2011). The Science of Evil : on empathy and the origins of cruelty. New York: Basic Books, c2011.

Baron-Cohen, S. (2011). The science of evil. [Electronic resource]: on empathy and the origins of cruelty. New York: Basic Books, c2011.

January 23, 2017

Dear Narcissist Problems, "Narcissistic Social Worker"






Dear Narcissist Problems,



I love social media, thank you for your site. When I explain to others what I experience with a narcissistic social worker a masters narcissistic social worker (that should not have a license) people look at me like I am crazy. I would like more information for education helps me to understand the craziness.
Need resources on how to deal with a Narcissistic Social Worker!

Sincerely,

"legally harassed"








Dear "harassed"

     I can only imagine what you are going through if you are dealing with a narcissistic social worker! As far as educational materials dealing specifically with a narcissistic social worker I'm coming up short handed. However! There is a lot of information on how to deal with an investigation, how to deal with false allegations, and how to deal with legal kidnapping.

     Unfortunately for us what we consider narcissistic abuse is actually common practice within the Department of human services. I'm sure that some good people with noble intentions originally set out to be social workers to save children but all of those good intentions fly out of the window when combined with state policies. 

   There is a conflict of interest happening within our civil court system and specifically within DCFS where false allegations are encouraged by narcissistic social workers and used against parents with little to no evidence as a means to legally kidnap children. I think we are all in agreement that throwing a child into the foster care system rather than working with the parents who may have issues is not only not in the best interest of the child but it's also not in the best interest of our species.

The late Senator Nancy Schaefer was an advocate for parents and families dealing with social services. She did a great job explaining what happens to families dealing with DCFS. 

There is a huge problem in our country in regards to the corruption and problems withing the DCFS system so outing one narcissistic social worker would be almost impossible because their tactics are widely accepted and used by the entire system to destroy children and families. 

I'm glad this page has helped but I highly suggest doing a search on Facebook for groups that deal directly with CPS and DCFS corruption.

Here are five things you can do if you are facing false allegations to DCFS:

  • Don't sign anything!
  • Hire a Lawyer!
  • Don't Give them access to any of your records!
  • Recind signatures!
  • Record and document all interactions!
     In the meantime, make sure that you record all interactions with this social worker. Inform them that you will be recording the conversation or face to face meeting if required to do so by law. 
Another option is to refuse any meetings without your lawyer. If they want to speak with you then ALWAYS speak with your lawyer. Stop them and say, I need to talk to my lawyer first. Then call your lawyer.

     I know attorneys are very expensive but this is one situation where you should sell your house, car, pawn your belongings, and do whatever you need to come up with the money to pay a lawyer because not having a lawyer could cost you your family. Don't sign anything without showing it to your lawyer first.

     If you have already signed something then send them a certified letter in the mail requiring a signature that states you are recinding, an email that you are recinding, AND a phone call. Then save the records of all three so they can' t later say they collected evidence before you recinded your signature.  When you recind make the letter quick and to the point "I did not understand what I was signing, I signed under duress, and I was told that if I didn't sign the document X Y and Z would happen to me or my children".

     Make it clear that you will no longer be signing anything without a lawyer first looking over the document. I'm not sure exactly what is going on in your case or with this social worker but I can only imagine that you are being threatened with your custody of your children. Make sure that you stand your ground, never admit to anything especially when you are innocent! A great way parents get duped by DCFS is signing an agreement to services. In the eyes of the government by you signing that agreement you are agreeing to being guilty of whatever they are accusing you of. DON'T SIGN ANYTHING, EVER!

     These people might act as though they are above the law but they are not. If you don't know your rights as a citizen of this country then you might as well not have any. They need probably cause, they need evidence so don't give it to them!
     Make them take you to court but you better be sure that you are not giving up evidence that might be used against you because it will be even if its something innocent it will be twisted into you being a monster. If you give them an inch they will take a mile. Stand your ground and know your rights. Specifically, know the 4th and 14th amendments and practice them!

Regards,

Narcissist Problems

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January 7, 2017

Dear Narcissist Problems, My sister was murdered by a narcissist


Dear Narcissist Problems,

      I don't know what to do....My sister died" suddenly" and I have requested her medical info and her narcissist husband will not allow me to have her records. He tormented me after her death by saying she liked to be locked in the closet. She was stuck in this relationship and I do think she was going to leave him. I cannot even access the 911 call. They said I could have it if I had my attorney request it then they denied the request. Police, Sheriff, fire dept. will not help. What do I do?
 Sincerely,
 
“Grieving Sister”


Dear “Grieving”,
            I’m really sorry to hear about the loss of your sister and I can only imagine how hard you are grieving. A narcissist can destroy the lives of everyone they come into contact with.  Even if he did not kill your sister his tormenting you is extremely cruel and if it isn't narcissistic abuse then it could possibly be the provocation of a psychopath . Without more information it would be really hard to say exactly what you should do. Many things would depend upon getting any help legally. It would be useful for you to find out if her abuse was actually documented and the cause of death. When you say she died suddenly it is unclear if suddenly means of a natural event or if there were any questionable circumstances. You could begin by trying to see if her abuse was documented and to get any help with this you will need a lawyer. It will be hard to get the police to listen if there is little or no documentation. If there is documentation and the events were questionable I’m sure they are already investigating this.

     For the mean time, I have two suggestions for you to get through this awful situation you are going through. The first is to speak with the lawyer. It seems that you have done this as you say “they say I could have it then they denied the request”. If the request was denied then I would see if it is possible to submit an appeal to that decision. Again, only your attorney can help you with this. However, I also recommend getting a consult with multiple attorneys and choosing one that you are comfortable with. I would preferably find a lawyer that is familiar with narcissistic abuse and possibly seek the help of someone who is passionate about prosecuting for emotional abuse as well. 
     The first suggestion would be to talk to a lawyer.  The second suggestion I have is to seek support and counseling for your grieving. I would spend some time finding a therapist who specializes in narcissistic and emotional abuse to help you get through this nightmare and also help put things into perspective.  I searched around and seen that many are recommending this book about grief when dealing with the sudden loss of a loved one:

 This community found at Grief.com seems to be a great place to start to find support and resources.  This site also has the type of loss you are experiencing broken further down into support groups so you can connect and discuss with others who have gone through what you are experiencing.
You are grieving and most likely angry and feel powerless over your situation. I would try to connect with others in support groups geared toward abuse or surviving family members of people that have lost a loved one to abuse. I wish you luck on getting through this. Just remember to stop every once in a while and take care of yourself because this will consume your life as you search for answers and justice.

Regards,

  Narcissist Problems

November 26, 2016

How the Family Narcissist Ruins Holiday Gatherings




3 Ways Narcissists Ruin Special Events 






What You Can Do to Avoid Being in Hell for the Holidays


1. Narcissists will provoke you


The thing about narcissists is that if they do it once they will do it again. You’ve probably been conditioned as the family event organizer since birth and every year the same scenario plays out. You are asked to prepare the holiday dinner and event and you do. There is also the added guilt that takes place when you protest doing all the work alone.

Typically the narcissist will have a giant to-do list and needs “help”. The request for help is more of a demand and you find yourself checking off the items on this list alone. After all, the narcissist is so overwhelmed with all of the other things they need to do.

Spot narcissistic provocation and learn ways to prevent them.

 If you protest the narcissist, they will find some way to make you feel guilty and they will let everyone know about how you ruined the holidays if you quit the role of Santa’s little helper. Draw upon your past experience and create firm boundaries.

You are an adult and you too have responsibilities to take care of. Refuse to do any work on this event if you are doing it alone. Trying to explain your feelings about the situation to the narcissist is pointless.

Create a plan of action and tell the narcissist what they are expected to do and if they don’t do it then it will not get done. Be clear, firm, and stand your ground. Don’t let the narcissist manipulate you into doing their work by sending you on a guilt trip.

Narcissists humiliate you in front of others


Narcissists will pick apart your flaws and then point them out to others. If you have stress induced acne the narcissist will wait until the room is full and then proceed to point out each blemish to the guests.
They simply thought that everyone grew out of acne once they matured out of puberty and here you are in middle age with pimples. You really need to get it together because something is wrong with you!

How to deal with nitpicking and humiliation:

If you are forced to interact with this person then the worst thing you could do is react. When a narcissist is picking apart your flaws what they are really trying to do is elicit a reaction.

 They don’t care if it is good or bad. If you are not giving them positive attention they will be happy to see you cry and get angry. Do not allow them this control over you.

Be as solid as a rock and without any emotional reaction simply state that their behavior is inappropriate and then walk away. Disengage and refuse to be provoked by them. Chances are if they are making you feel uncomfortable they are also making others feel uncomfortable. Be a rock and walk away.

3. Narcissists gossip about you

Something about gossip and badmouthing really keeps most narcissists going. Just like cars need gas narcissists need gossip. They are constantly criticizing others and sharing intimate details or something made up in order to make you look bad. Narcissists use gossip as a means to triangulate people and put wedges in relationships. They want to be the focal point of every relationship.

Narcissists don’t want people talking to each other because they need people to go through them as a means of communication. Narcissists use gossip as a tool to get what they want out of everyone around them and they do this by creating miscommunication among others.

What to do about gossip:

Understand that you can’t control gossip but you can control how you react to it and who you allow in your life. Narcissists recruit others to gain information about you so take stock of the relationships you have with anyone that has to do with your narcissist.

If you see someone in your life that you confide in with the narcissist and they are alone and whispering. Chances are the narcissist is getting or giving the dirt on their target. If there isn’t any dirt to get then they will just make it up.

Sever ties with narcissists and their flying monkeys. There is no winning this game and chances are that gossip will later be used to destroy your life. If you are struggling with going No Contact with an abusive family member you can find very useful information at the Sanctuary for the abused blog.

There are a few sources that share great information and resources for those suffering from the narcissistic family member. The Narcissist’s Child is a blog geared toward daughters of Narcissistic Mothers and has a list of other resources such as relevant websites, blogs, and books.

Helpful Awareness pages or blogs include:


The Naked Narcissist  and The War At Home which has recently started a nonprofit foundation to highlight Narcissistic Abuse and become a source of help to victims of narcissistic abusers.


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November 10, 2016

Dear Narcissist Problems, "Emotionally Blackmailed 2" The update


Dear Narcissist Problems,

An update from “Emotional Blackmail” originally posted last month.

            A shocking twist. His first attempt at faking his own death was uncovered but that was not enough for him. He admitted he knew he needed psychiatric help and asked for me to be supportive. He blamed his PTSD for all his problems. He claimed to have checked in to a mental hospital and even called me from the hospital a few times to prove to me he was there. A part of me that wanted to think it was true and he was getting help.

A week later he called and said he had been released and asked me to run away and get married in Florida. I simply replied “You already know my answer”. Anyone who loved me would never ask for me to leave my family. Little did I know, by declining his proposal to run away, I had signed up for my worst nightmare.  

No sooner than the next morning I started getting emails and messages from his friends and family for the second time telling me he had committed suicide by overdose and I was going to be held responsible. Email after email accusing me of ruining his life and being the cause of his suffering. I was even sent a copy of the death certificate and his family demanded I sign over to them power of attorney.
There was a moment in time when I started to think this may be real, but my gut told me otherwise. I decided to go to the Coroner’s office to verify the certificate, and of course, it was FAKE! They advised me to report to the police department, but I was disappointed to find they could not help me due to the fact the document did not have my information and I was not in immediate danger.
 In the meantime, the emails persisted, still demanding power of attorney for an estate, children left in my care, and a body that needed to be released from the morgue. I had not been replying to the email or messages because I was so sick and tired of the games, I knew he was playing with my head all along.

As the emails continued I could tell he was getting frustrated and angry that I was not engaging. He started using his nieces name to send me threats like, “I’m going to strangle you”, “I will make you pay for this”, and “I will ruin your family”. With emails like those I was finally able to provide the police evidence of the abuse. I was granted a protection order and a detective would be assigned to my case.

 My sister once again took it upon herself to dig a little deeper, she found my ex-boyfriend’s niece on Facebook and asked if she knew my ex. She described him and asked if she was aware her uncle was using her name to threaten people. The poor girl was horrified to find that her own family would do such a thing, she even questioned if this could be the same person because the night before they had gone out to dinner and trick-or-treat and even his WIFE was there with them and that they had never been divorced!

 My sister called me with the news, my jaw and stomach dropped to the floor. I could not believe that I had been with a married man for two and half years. How could anyone get away with so much for this long? How could this happen to me? He did send one last message, he did not admit to the emails but that he had lost everything because of me, his family, his life, his job. He said he would leave me alone and give me peace “you can be happy it will be like I never existed everything is gone”. He wondered why I had not gotten him arrested. I never did reply to him.

 I can only assume this was one last attempt at controlling me, my emotions and hurting me. I feel used, empty, I even feel stupid for falling for this crazy person and all his lies, and I had been living a lie all this time. I was “the other women”.

 I had gone through abuse in the past but nothing like this, bruises and scars heal, but emotional abuse is the hardest to overcome. I am currently struggling with anxiety, stress, constantly feeling edgy, sensitive and afraid. I feel like I’m withdrawing from everything I once loved and everything that made me happy. I look forward to the day this will no longer be a painful memory but a story to tell about a lesson learned and how I became stronger, braver. I will continue to follow through with the protection order and police report. He will need to confront reality and all those he has hurt with his lies.

 Sincerely,

“Emotionally Blackmailed”


Dear “Emotionally Blackmailed”,

            Wow.  Just WOW! I think this goes beyond dealing with a regular Narcissist Problem. The first time you wrote in I thought you were dealing with an extreme narcissist but this second elaboration of the situation just confirms that this guy is a narcopath!!!  I’ve seen my fair share of Narcissist Problems but this guy takes the cake!  Also, good for you for digging into the lies by going to the coroner’s office for confirmation.  It’s insane that one would even need to do that yet here we are.  I can only imagine the coroner’s reaction and I hope they didn’t treat you like you were insane for too long.  

As for the police doing anything about the fake death certificate you found out the hard way that going to police with these things is a lost cause.  Trust me, I haven’t had to go to the police with a fake death certificate but for other fraud related incidents.  I learned that they will turn you away and worst case scenario they will make you feel like a paranoid schizophrenic even if you show them evidence. 

When I had my situation and the police were of no help I contacted a criminal defense attorney because I figured if anyone had answers they would.  One attorney instructed me to go to the prosecuting attorney’s office with all the documents and see if they will bring a case against the person for forgery (not fraud).  I learned that there is a difference between the terms fraud and forgery and you were the victim of a forgery.

 For better understanding, fraud is when someone deceives you for monetary gains and forgery is a technique used to commit fraud by creating a document in order to deceive.  Since they were demanding power of attorney for property, children, and the forgers “body release” I would say you have a pretty good case and should consider pursuing this further.  I know it would be easier to just walk away but the reality of the situation is that the crazy is not going to end unless you disappear. 

I’m really glad you got an order of protection against this guy.  Keep documenting the crazy because you are going to need everything later. They are really good at recruiting flying monkeys to harass their victims but it seems like this guy is a pro at creating flying monkeys.  Honestly, his lack of manipulating people into doing his dirty work but instead creating flying monkeys and harassing you himself scares the hell out of me. I mean its normal for them to create fake profiles to stalk but this guy doesn’t even seem to have anyone in his life that is aware of you yet you have been harassed by his “whole family”.  First the mom, now the niece, and who else is really just fake?  That’s a whole separate level of hate and I’m starting to wonder if he is actually a psychopath.

Thank you for sharing your story.  I’m really glad that you are reaching out for help and finding support.  I think that your reactions are normal in this situation.  These relationships will take a toll on us permanently but you need to know that you were not and are not stupid. The only thing I can suggest is completely cut yourself off.  You might even need to move to another state, change your number, change your emails again because this guy will never stop.  It’s scary, confusing, and it’s not fair to be forced into such drastic measures but we are talking about your peace. 
Evil people don't announce themselves.
  They show up as everything you've ever wanted
 and then turn into your worst nightmare

Staying where you are, if he knows where you are, will only force you to withdraw more.  What you have been through is going to take a very long time to recover from.  In fact, it’s probably going to change you forever.  Who you were, who you are, and who you are going to be will meet in this moment and how you go on from here is going to define your future.  You can let this break you permanently but from the sounds of it you are going to be stronger, wiser, and possibly an advocate for others.  There is a quote flying around the internet that is dead on and it goes something like this “There are going to be moments in your life where a clear line is drawn between before this moment and after this moment.” I don’t know who wrote it but it is so true.  You got this so just keep going!

Sincerely,

Narcissist Problems

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