Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts

January 1, 2016

Dear Narcissist Problems "Sick and Tired"

Dear Narcissist Problems,

     I have read tons on narcissistic behavior, and have a couple of questions. My family has an individual who displays mostly passive narcissist traits, but we have been at our wits end for years dealing with her being an extreme hypochondriac. She also has an insatiable need for attention. She will drink, pop pills, and then call everyone for days complaining of how sick she is. If we try to change the subject, or avoid "feeding the monster", we are accused of being insensitive and cruel. Also, if we try to make suggestions for getting well, she shoots them down immediately. She is highly skilled at using guilt of all kinds to try and get her needs met. ANY suggestions are welcome! Thank you for offering your time and effort with this group!

Sincerely,

“Sick and tired of being sick and tired”

Dear “Sick and Tired”,

    Let me just make my first statement of the year be: I am not a psychiatrist nor will I ever claim to be.  What I will say is that I can totally relate with your situation!  With that said “Happy New Year”!!!!  The insatiable need for attention seems to be the calling card of all narcissists.  This is why I like to refer to them as emotional vampires.  They will suck you dry and leave you believing that you are the one who is tragically flawed for not feeding into whatever need they are trying to have met by you.  Narcissists in general will do many things to get their needs fed whether it be to manipulate you, scapegoat you, triangulate your entire family/friends, ruin your life, or play the pity card.  It seems like your narcissist has a need to be fed by playing on your sympathy and getting attention by either feigning an illness or down right making themselves sick.  What happens when we are sick?  People who care about us want to make us comfortable, they want to help us, and they will usually go out of their way to do this.  I know I usually do when someone I care about is sick.  I guess what I’m wondering about right now is if this narcissist has recently created some rifts in the family by causing drama or ruining relationships. Did she spend the holidays solo? Has she lost any sources of supply for her ego?  You might be surprised to notice that this person tends to get ill if other people in their lives have been staying away from them due to their toxic behavior and general destructiveness.  In my own experience with my Narcissistic mother she loved to create storms of drama.  She wasn’t able to function if there wasn’t some tragedy going on in her life.  When there was something awful going on she was at her best.  Happy, energetic, smiling, and on that phone gossiping with whoever would listen.  As we know about gossip and human nature people usually love to listen to what is going on with others.  Now when she couldn’t stir something up she became depressed and would stay in bed until 2 or 3 p.m.  She would come down with chronic illnesses acutely. Mark my words, as soon as some shit storm was stirred up again her illness was cured!  During the times she was ill she needed a caretaker, me.  Someone not to offer advice but to take care of her needs.  I took care of the household, I took care of her emotions, and I took care of her own responsibilities like caring for other family members or getting a job at the age of 14 to make sure the bills were paid.  If I were not taking care of her needs there would be hell to pay.  If I suggested she see a doctor there would be hell to pay.  If I told anyone outside of our home what was going on there would be hell to pay.  My point, it is not your job to take care of this person’s needs.  She needs help and it’s a help you will never be able to offer or suggest if this is a true narcissist.  This is the way it is.  If you suggest that she seek medical help and then refuses there is nothing more you can do for her.  We are all adults and we all have the responsibility to take care of ourselves, including our own needs.   Back away slowly and keep your distance until/unless she decides she will take the action necessary to make herself well again.  As always, this post will be shared.  Comments from readers as well as suggestions, advice, or a “me too” is always appreciated!

Regards,

Narcissist Problems

Edit: After posting this a member of one of the groups used a the term "Help reject complain" which fits this behavior to a T.  Here is an article if anyone cares to understand this further.
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/therapy-soup/2013/02/how-to-deal-with-a-help-rejecting-complainer/

October 4, 2015

Dear Narcissist Problems, "Stuck"


Dear Narcissist Problems,

     I need advice/help. I'm in a very unhealthy relationship, but I feel stuck. I don't know how to get out. He is manipulative, controlling, and abusive (more verbal and sexual with occasional physical). I've tried multiple times in the last year to make him leave and it never works. I got a better job in August and was hiding money so that I could leave and he started doing little things (unplugging my alarm clock, calling me at work saying my daughter was in the hospital so I'd leave early [she wasn't] and once even leaving in MY car and taking the keys to his truck and not coming back until an hour after I was supposed to be at work) all of which have resulted in my losing my job. When I was working, he would take money out of my purse, he's told me that he paid certain bills and actually just blew the money, one of which was a traffic ticket, resulting in my license being suspended. He has cheated on me more times than I can count, but I'm the one with the problem because I'm "jealous" and "insecure" and I make him cheat because I'm so awful. I have 2 children and I can't keep putting us thru this. I don't have anyone who can help me or that we can stay with. I have a car payment and insurance now a suspended license and no income w/o him. I've been distributing my resume and filling out job applications since I lost my job 2wks ago with no luck. I'm at my wits end and I don't know what to do

Sincerely,

“Stuck”

Dear “Stuck”,

     When I read through this I literally felt the burn of pure anger I felt with my own narcissist.  The first step in getting out is usually the hardest and that is to accept that there is a problem.  You are 60% of the way there.  The first thing I would do is print this letter up as a starting point and heading down to the local courthouse and seeking the help of a victims advocate.  I am really sorry to hear that you lost your job and I am not going to lie to you:  This next year will probably be the hardest year of your life but I know you can get through it!  The hardest part of these relationships whether it is a family member, friend, or significant other is wriggling out of their tentacles.  You need a support system.  Think really really really hard and try to see if there is anyone in your life who is willing to help. If not seek help just as you have done here.  You are not alone! All of these problems seem really overwhelming but the important thing is to work through them.  When you go to the court house talk to them and see if they can’t point you in the right direction regarding the abuse AND your license situation.  The longer you put either situation off the worse it will be later.  Try to be as proactive as possible even if you have no money.  I know that here in Chicago we are having an amnesty week for parking ticket violations.  I don’t exactly know what that means but I’m assuming either having the ticket dissolved completely or setting up a very small payment schedule.  If you lose the car; I know that will only make the situation worse but remember this isn’t the end.  You are being abused mentally, sexually, physically and financially.  This person is sabotaging your job, your income, and your ability to take care of yourself and your children.  I would not, under any circumstances, leave the children with him as a babysitter.  The children have already been through enough.  While you have a car let your determination to survive and later thrive be your guide.  Seek out community support.  Go down to the office for family and child services and see if they can assist you in finding daycare options.  I wouldn’t go into too many details but keep it strictly regarding money.  I would also see if they can possibly help you find some certification classes so that you can get a higher paying job later.  You are in a jam and the longer you stay with this person the more he is going to tear you down.  The most important thing to do is take the first steps toward your safety and independence.  Good Luck to you!  You can do this!  Further, document the crazy.  Get the police involved.  Get a restraining order against this person before you end up losing your children because of him.  The most important thing to do is to stay safe and get out as quickly as possible!  None of this is going to be easy.  You are going to need to be filled with so much fear and determination that it forces you to break the barriers of “out there” being scarier than where you already are.  Know this, you are capable enough and strong enough to do this you just need to start!  It will help to seek emotional support in a support group and you can find them on Facebook.  Also see if there are any free services for counseling in your area.  Get out there and get talking.  When we talk with others who have been there not only can they help guide us out of the nightmare but it helps to get out the pain and frustration.  You got this!  Finally, I would avoid any conflict or threatening your partner that you will leave if he doesn’t change his behavior.  Make the plans to leave as silently as possible otherwise he will sabotage those plans and he may actually hurt you or the children.

Regards,

Narcissist Problems

July 1, 2015

Dear Narcissist Problems, where do I ask my question, I need advice! "Losing my Mind"


Dear Narcissist Problems,

Hi, I just currently was added to the group, but I have no idea how it works. I really, really need some advice. I was casually talking to a friend about my issues on my husband, (I never talk to anyone about it) and she pointed me to a site that promotes you for advice and I really need some before I just run away. Can you help me?
 I really need some advice but I do not want my friends to see my request. The advice site you published is public and no way to post private. Can you help me before I lose my mind? I was describing my dilemma to a friend and she suggested I come here because she HAD a boyfriend in the past she is still damaged by the narcissistic way he treated her. I am losing my mind and my heart. I do not want a 3rd failed marriage because I can’t figure it out. I do love him, but I cannot do this anymore. Can you please help me with advice?? Or point someone to me please???
To start... I had no idea that of the reason of my anguish about my husband until I was explaining my unhappiness to a friend. I thought him to just be a flirt that would fail me eventually by putting himself into a situation to cheat. The disrespect was often. I knew only a matter of time and I would be another failure. Marriage #3. Can any marriage survive this? Is my initial question. I am not sure my heart can even after talking to his mother that sees it too. Help? The help I need us to emotionally survive it while also not upsetting everyone. Ideas? Please I need them. I am at the verge of breaking down to something I cannot come back from.

Sincerely,

Losing my Mind

Dear “Losing my mind”,

     I know this can be a little confusing with how to have a question posted anonymously so here is the link for the Narcissist Problems Facebook Page.  Please message the page with any questions and the link is here:
After sending your question into the page I will spend time reviewing your question and then building an appropriate reply.  This may take a few days if I need more details or information and time to give full thought as to how I will respond.  Most of the time if I need more details about the situation I will send a message to ask.  

Now that we got that out of the way lets focus on the real reason you came here.  You have 2 failed marriages and are working on the 3rd.  I would love to give you advice on how to cope with your situation but I am not sure I really understand the situation fully.  I understand that there has been infidelity, and I am not discounting this but in order to point you in the right direction I would need to know what is going on that is making you feel you are going to lose your mind besides the cheating.  What are your daily interactions like?  Do you have some examples of behavior patterns or how you speak to each other or what you actually argue about?  Why do you feel he is cheating on you or are you assuming he has been cheating on you?  Is it possible that you have been in such fear of infidelity that you might possibly be sabotaging your own marriage?  I don’t want you to have another failed marriage either and if I were in your shoes I would probably be freaking out as well.  My first suggestion, based on 3 marriages, is to ask you to examine your life, specifically your childhood.  How did your parents interact with you and what are your relationships.  Were your parents emotionally or physically abusive?  I’m asking about this because it seems that many people developed relationships in adulthood that follow similar patterns experienced with family in childhood. The big question here is why do you continue to develop relationships that fall apart?  My second and last suggestion is to seek therapy.  You have a pattern of failed relationships in your life and if you want to fix this you are going to need to find out why and then come up with solutions.  There is no quick fix when it comes to change and while I would love to help you figure this out I am not qualified to do so.  Can a marriage survive infidelity?  That would depend on multiple factors but the important thing to ponder is, do you want it to?  I know there are a lot of questions here and less advice but I can’t assume what’s going on in your life or in your marriage.  In my own life I have learned that I need to build solid and trusting foundations with those I let into my small circle.  I tend to my close relationships like I would tend to a garden.  I take care of them.  I remove weeds when necessary.  I pay attention to toxins or parasites that may be killing my garden and proceed with research and knowledge.  The foundation of any relationship is going to begin at home with you.  If you do not love or take care of yourself you will have a really hard time convincing others to.  Good luck on your journey and if you have any more questions please send it to the first link above.

Regards,

Narcissist Problems

June 17, 2015

Dear Narcissist Problems; "Bacon Sandwich"


 
 
Dear Narcissist Problems,

I need help please.  I think I'm being completely emotionally manipulated. I feel like I've fallen into a dark hole I can't get out of.   I met a guy at work just over a year ago. At first everything was amazing and he was great. Then for various reasons we decided to move in together. Since we have been living together he has been having regular mood swings. I now feel like I never know where I am with him. One day he can be as loving as can be and the next day he will lash out. I got thrown out of the house on packing day for not making him a bacon sandwich which he asked for Xmas morning because I was in a rush to go and see my kids from my previous relationship (they live with their father, thank goodness. Sometimes he will fly off the handle at me and I'm not even sure why. He has threatened me, sworn at me, spat in my face twice, grabbed me and forcibly taken a picture of my stomach calling me fat, stupid, weak and pathetic.  He does this especially if we are exercising together and I don't do as he says. He has come at me with his fists then punched the wall, also a mallet and a knife (I hid in the bathroom). The police have been involved but when they are here he plays the victim. I ran off once and hid for a week but every time I leave he begs and pleads with me to return and starts acting how he used to all loving and everything. He is involved with a mental health team as he has been signed off work with depression for 12 weeks now. He works in the health industry and is very knowledgeable of psychology etc. When he has counselling and even when the crisis team comes out he acts in such a way that they pander to him. I have left numerous times but each time I find myself returning and apologizing although most of the time I'm not even sure what for. I've started smoking, I don't see any of my friends and I don't go anywhere. I lost my job in March due to being ill with stress. This has been ongoing since Christmas. Sometimes I return and accept things and have no idea why. It is like he knows all the buttons to push on me so I behave how he wants. I feel like I'm going crazy. I have started to question myself and my own sanity and behavior, finding me blaming myself for things. I keep excusing his behavior saying it must be depression. He had threatened to kill himself before when I have left, and cut himself once thereby making me feel bad. I feel totally trapped.

Sincerely,

“Bacon Sandwich Breakfast”

 

Dear “Bacon Sandwich Breakfast”,

   This guy is more than a manipulator, he is a hurricane!  The only response I have to this is Get out Now!!!  They say that when we bond with people we do so whether the bonding is positive or negative.  I don’t know what happened in your life prior to this relationship but what you are describing here is a typical abusive relationship.  You are experiencing emotional abuse when you are degraded and humiliated.  You are experiencing physical abuse when he comes at you with fists and weapons.  What I really want to know is what are you waiting for?  Are you waiting for this guy to murder you?  Because eventually he will.  With trauma bonding, to my understanding, it becomes impossible to leave the relationship not because we are weak but because we think we love this terror we spend our days with.  This person is terrorizing you and it’s to the point that you feel normal in this role.  I am not saying you enjoy being a victim I am saying that you have come to feel normal with the abuse.  A big red flag of abuse is being isolated from your friends and family.  I will not go into any more detail listing the reasons why you are being abused.  I will just say, you are being abused and you need to get as far away from this guy as possible.  You need to find the strength to ignore the threats he is making to harm himself because guess what?  Those threats will soon turn into action and trust me when I say, if those threats are carried out you will most likely be physically harmed in the process.  You need to document these threats and call the authorities on him.  Document all the crazy.  Please contact your local court house and get in touch with a domestic violence advocate.  Yes, thank god your child is not there to witness this but your child also does not need to witness the shell of a person his mother is becoming.  Read up on the red flags of abuse.  Have conversations with others who have gone through abuse, get counseling, and join some support groups.  There is no question about the manipulation.  Yes you are being manipulated and you were groomed to accept this abuse.  Take a lot of time to work on you before getting into a new relationship after this.  Find out what made you attracted to this person in the first place and what made you stay.  This relationship will eventually kill you.  You do not have time to consider what I have said here.  Let the hair on the back of your neck raise up, your heart start pumping, and your instinct to take flight come over you.  Do not ignore your gut and do not ignore this warning.  If you do not leave this person as soon as you read this response tomorrow might be too late.  GET. OUT. NOW. You need to disappear because his rage when he finds out you are gone will not simmer down so document the crazy and do not hesitate to contact the police!  We are talking about your life.  You do not have any more time to sit around and wonder what you should be doing because if you do it could be the death of you.

Regards,

Narcissist Problems

June 8, 2015

Dear Narcissist Problems, "Curious"



Dear Narcissist Problems,
I understand that this group normally focuses on personality disorders on an individual basis but I was wondering if you could explain to me if gaslighting ever happens in other situations. Can a person experience gaslighting in places other than in their own homes and personal relationships?
Sincerely,
"Curious"
Dear "Curious",
You have asked a great question and the answer is a capital YES!! It is important to know the red flags of abuse so that you can use your critical thinking skills in other areas of life as well. One such example of gaslighting on a grand scale can be observed on a daily basis when the public is informed about what is good for them and then new prescriptions or healthcare treatments are suggested. Sometimes the treatments are created as a prevention to disease but in reality the treatments are either not effective or they cause injury. When an injured party questions the treatment they are then led to believe they are crazy by their doctors and the government or labeled a conspiracy theorist in order to thwart further questioning. This practice actually leaves a major portion of the population scratching their own heads wondering if they are crazy for doubting people in such noble professions as healthcare and government. Love Triangle: Not-for-Profits, For- Profits, and Government.
Corruption in the American government is becoming painfully obvious when researching Not-for-profit and For-Profit organizations and the roles these institutions play in policy making. In recent years, the unethical practices that have merged as the result of large corporations investing in Not-For-Profit organizations which play key roles in that result in public policy is unethical and should be banned from practice. The results of these unethical practices can be felt not only in the United States but worldwide. The relationship between a government agency, a foundation, and a pharmaceutical company has led to a crisis in the global healthcare system which is resulting in the harm of citizens around the world. When it comes to something as important as a person’s body and health an extreme amount of caution should be taken in order to avoid corruption in this configuration. As most people who watch television are aware, there is a growing epidemic of bad drugs being passed off onto the American public. While there are agencies and laws that are put into place to ensure the safety of pharmaceuticals these policies are being circumvented because of the relationship that has been established between pharmaceutical companies, the foundations that produce the results of research, and the governmental agencies put into place to ensure the safety of products made available to the public. The public relies on the government to ensure its safety and best interest. However, the public’s best interest is being jeopardized due to greed and corruption. A closer look needs to be taken into the love triangle which has merged between the CDC, The CDC Foundation, and the pharmaceutical company known as MERCK in the United States but MRK in other countries. The CDC Foundation was created as an extension of the CDC in order to get private funding for research as a means to improve public health. The problem occurs when a company such as Merck donates private funding towards The CDC Foundation in order to have its product passed for safety and put on the market to the general public. This relationship, in itself, creates a conflict of interest and should be banned from practice. The relationship established between the CDC, The CDC foundation, and Merck pharmaceuticals is not in the best interest of the American public because it is putting lives in jeopardy for a profit.
In order to understand the dynamics at play when discussing the conflict of interest the partnership between The CDC Foundation and Merck pharmaceuticals creates it is necessary to include the governmental agency the CDC into the equation. The CDC, Center for Disease Control, was founded in the 1940’s with the main goal of eradicating malaria. Since its inception it has become one of the leading agencies in the world to focus on human health globally by researching diseases and ways to effectively control and prevent them. The agency receives its funding from tax payers and its mission statement taken from the official CDC website is as follows:
“…to protect America from health, safety and security threats, both foreign and in the U.S. Whether diseases start at home or abroad, are chronic or acute, curable or preventable, human error or deliberate attack, CDC fights disease and supports communities and citizens to do the same.” (Mission, Role and Pledge 2014).
The CDC was put into place to conduct research that would make American citizens healthier, safer, and provide inexpensive treatments to the general population and funding to obtain this goal is generated by the American taxpayer who entrusts this agency to act in its best interest. Moreover, the “CDC conducts critical science and provides health information that protects our nation against expensive and dangerous health threats, and responds when these arise.” (Mission, Role and Pledge 2014).
According to the mission statement the goal of this agency is to protect Americans from disease, conduct research, and establish treatment for disease. The research gained from studies and experiments is then analyzed and implemented into practice by creating laws and policy. The CDC’s role is to spread awareness of disease while simultaneously eradicating them. One role that needs to be examined further here is the accuracy and honesty of the statement that the CDC is “Tackling the biggest health problems causing death and disability for Americans.” (Mission, Role and Pledge 2014). After examining the relationship established between the business triangle that was created by the CDC, The CDC Foundation, and Merck pharmaceuticals it becomes painfully obvious that the American people have been duped out of Billions of tax dollars and their health. The pledge made by this agency to “Be a diligent steward of the funds entrusted to our agency, Provide an environment for intellectual and personal growth and integrity, Base all public health decisions on the highest quality scientific data that is derived openly and objectively, Place the benefits to society above the benefits to our institution, Treat all persons with dignity, honesty, and respect” (Mission, Role and Pledge 2014). It can be found after examining the connections between this agency and the Not-for-Profit and For-Profit organizations that the above statements are untrue. This agency has placed the American public and society at risk because their public health decisions are based on scientific data that is not derived openly or objectively because the research this agency relies on is being gathered from a Not-for-profit that is funded by an organization with a special interest in the outcome of the research that is conducted.
The CDC Foundation was “Established by Congress as an independent, nonprofit organization, the CDC Foundation connects the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) with private-sector organizations and individuals to build public health programs that make our world healthier and safer.” (CDC Foundation 2015). This foundation was founded in 1995 as a means to gain funding for medical research. According to the foundation website “the CDC Foundation has provided $450 million to support CDC's work” (CDC Foundation 2015). The intention of this established nonprofit organization seems rather altruistic until one takes a closer look at the research provided by the foundation that has been faulty and led to injury and/or death. On any given day the public can see the outcome of this faulty research in a single hour of watching television. Every other commercial seems to be either about a new drug with a slew of bad side effects or an advertisement for a personal injury lawyer who is bringing a class action lawsuit against a pharmaceutical company for a bad drug. This contradicts the mission statement of both the CDC and the CDC foundation. With the use of bad drugs the American public and the world are not safer or healthier. In fact, the opposite is true and this is due to a special interest taking part in the outcome of medical research in order to gain a profit. “Established by Congress, the CDC Foundation helps the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention do more, faster, by forging effective partnerships between CDC and corporations, foundations, organizations and individuals to fight threats to health and safety. The CDC Foundation is a 501(c)(3) public charity.” (CDC Foundation 2015). This is an absurdly unethical relationship and there are laws in place to prevent the mingling of government agencies with corporations for a very good reason. When corporations influence government agencies it results in corruption and unethical business practices.
Listed on the CDC Foundations website as a reason for its inception is that “: “As a private 501(c)(3) public charity, the CDC Foundation receives charitable contributions and philanthropic grants from individuals, foundations, corporations, universities, NGOs and other organizations to advance the work of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Unlike many large foundations, the CDC Foundation does not have a large endowment to support our activities.” (CDC Foundation 2015). An interesting fact that emerges when researching the funding and the sources of funding for each agency and organization is the massive amount of money generated towards research and healthcare implementation plus the costs of the end product, the medicine, treatments, and services. The mission statement of the CDC becomes contradicted when it was written that one of their goals was to eliminate expensive healthcare treatments in the first place. It seems the American and global public have found themselves in the greatest Ponzi scheme of all time. In this scheme the American public is being hoodwinked out of an enormous amount of cash. “The president’s fiscal year (FY) 2014 budget request for CDC is $6.6 billion, a decrease of 270 million from FY 2012. This funding level includes $755 million from the Affordable Care Act’s Prevention and Public Health Fund (PPHF) and $618 million in Public Health Service (PHS) evaluation funds.”(CDC Budget Request 2014). The summary then goes on to summarize the services the funding went to provide. The amount of money generated annually by the American people alone should be enough to eradicate and/or prevent every disease mankind has ever encountered. A contradiction may have been created when the value statement of the CDC is “saving lives, protecting people from health threats, and saving money through prevention.” Because it seems as if the cost of prevention may far outweigh the actual cost of disease, illness, or death (CDC 2015). The CDC and The CDC Foundation are both headquartered in Atlanta. Further, since the CDC Foundation is a public charity it is tax exempt. The obstacles faced by both companies would be a cut in funding. According to one article;
“By every measure our nation is dramatically better prepared for public health threats than we were a decade ago. However, ongoing reductions in public health preparedness and response investments are impacting the national public health infrastructure that prepares for and responds to routine public health threats in addition to terrorist threats, novel infectious diseases, natural disasters, and biological, chemical and nuclear emergencies. Even though funding cuts have been made, CDC still has the responsibility to get the job done and protect the American people from public health threats.” (Frantz 2015).
It seems that this foundation has not yet seen a crisis because of the ignorance among American and global citizens to implement all of the suggestions made by the research generated with the billions of dollars in funding. It is becoming apparent that the main goal of the human race is obviously to achieve immortality with all of this disease prevention and eradication. Its good business practice to be in a field where you study disease or disaster. A fear of death and a combination of public trust and ignorance seems to keep this organizations doors open.
An ethical dilemma that these organizations face is producing research that results in the wide spread use of pharmaceuticals that are injuring and/or killing millions of people worldwide. The legal repercussions for the most part would be the fear of a lawsuit as the result of research passed by a bad drug. An interesting fact to note is a law that was passed 9 years before the creation of the CDC foundation which has determined that “No Vaccine manufacturer, physician, or health facility may be designated a defendant in the proceeding, and there is no determination of legal fault or responsibility for injury”. (The National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program, page 258 para. 1, 1992). Shortly after this law was passed The CDC Foundation came into creation and the American people were left with little recourse if injured by a vaccine. In order for the injured party to get justice they would need to suffer an injury that is already documented with the Vaccine Injury Compensation program. A problem arises when the corruption becomes so out of control that faulty research is provided making vaccine related injuries that are not documented almost impossible to bring the pharmaceutical company to court where they can be held accountable.
The For-profit organization to be examined in this report is that of Merck Pharmaceuticals. The area of interest of this company is “As a global healthcare company, Merck believes it has an important role and responsibility in improving access to medicines, vaccines and quality healthcare worldwide, thereby helping to reduce the burden of disease in the parts of the world that need it most.” (Merck 2015). Merck is headquartered in Kenilworth, NJ but has locations based worldwide with a total of 700,000 employees located in over 50 countries. According to the official Merck website “Our product offering categories include heart and respiratory health, infectious diseases and women's health. We continue to focus our research on conditions that affect millions of people around the world - diseases like Alzheimer's, diabetes and cancer - while expanding our strengths in areas like vaccines and biologics.” (Merck 2015). The goal and mission statements involve providing increased access to healthcare globally by contributing to medical research and disease prevention. They are in the trade of pharmaceuticals and vaccines and had a revenue of over 42 billion dollars, and a net profit of 9.4 billion dollars, in 2014 alone. The United States is currently their biggest customer by contributing over 17 billion of the 42 billion dollar gain. Merck pharmaceuticals has built this medicinal empire by providing services to governments and its citizens globally so has a very special interest in the research that is conducted to pass their products for public use as can be highlighted in their official statement that “ Merck is committed to participating constructively in the political process. Government proposals to regulate the health care system may directly affect the Company's business and incentives for pharmaceutical innovation. Also, there are important policy initiatives that can further the company's goals with respect to increasing patient access to medicines and vaccines, and most importantly, to health care insurance coverage. It is appropriate for the Company to help inform the debate on these issues in the United States and in other countries.”(Merck 2015). It is very clear in this statement that the purpose of Merck pharmaceuticals is to manipulate governments, legislation, and policy as a means to gain a profit. Most people assume that this would be done ethically but as most are finding out this is not the case.
In a publication by Harvard School of Public health a study was conducted to examine the relationship between Merck Pharmaceuticals and the creation of public policy that results from this relationship. The study was focused on the new vaccine Gardasil being put into use and the authors found that “Merck promoted school-entry mandate legislation by serving as an information resource, lobbying legislators, drafting legislation, mobilizing female legislators and physician organizations, conducting consumer marketing campaigns, and filling gaps in access to the vaccine.” (Mello, Abiola, & Colgrove, 2012). While trying to get their vaccination passed into public use this pharmaceutical company focused its campaign by targeting leaders of healthcare and legislation. The study also found that “Legislators relied heavily on Merck for scientific information. Most stakeholders found lobbying by vaccine manufacturers acceptable in principle, but perceived that Merck had acted too aggressively and non -transparently in this case.” (Mello, Abiola, & Colgrove, 2012). In other words, this company paid policy makers and also provided its own research which may have been faulty as a means for financial gain.
The ethical dilemma this company faces is practicing evil deeds under the guise of helping and saving all of humanity. This company is responsible for injury humans globally with research, drugs, and vaccines but is only punished with a slap on the wrist, a fine, and possible public shaming. There are too many laws put into place to protect this corporate giant and as a result of their unethical practices many people are being harmed with little recourse for justice. Further, it has led to the corruption of the CDC and representatives of government as well. After reviewing these facts it seems as if the only crisis this organization will face is if/when it is exposed for its unethical practices and that will not happen until the American government is exposed as well. Currently, there isn’t a systems of checks and balances in place to protect the American public because even their recourse through the court system has been taken away to an extent by the passing of The Vaccine Injury program.
A few of the Vaccines produced and marketed by this organization are: BCG (tuberculosis), Comvax, Gardasil, Gardasil9, MMR, Pneumovax 23, Pro Quad (Measles, mumps, rubella, and varicella), Recombivax HB, RotaTeq, VAXTA, Varivax, and Zostavax to name a few. There is a long list of immunizations on the schedule for children and adults and the government passed the Vaccine Injury Program to safeguard pharmaceutical companies from safeguards and sold this idea to the American people by telling them that these companies made very little profit from the vaccines and did not want to scare the companies away from producing them. A profit of over nine billion dollars in one year being deemed as small should probably be reevaluated. Recently there has been a controversy that the MMR vaccine was the cause of Autism. Activists, parents, and a small circle of professionals agreed with this assumption and a doctor named Andrew Wakefield did a study on this link in 1998 which he still defends as truth to this day. The problem with this study is that a majority of the co-authors have come forward to claim that the study was falsified. Two things could have occurred here; either the study was falsified or the Co-authors were paid off by Merck pharmaceuticals to recant their research and Dr. Wakefield is being used as a scapegoat. When most people bring up the MMR/Autism link they are usually mocked and the target of ridicule yet there are still people out there who claim there is an actual link between the vaccine and the devastating disability of Autism. Since this study was debunked other research has surfaced that supports the claim that there is no link and anyone who questions this link is obviously a little wacky. However, a recent court case has sparked interest in this debate once again. In this case, whistleblowers brought a suit against the drug maker not because the MMR vaccine caused Autism but quite the opposite. The Merck whistleblowers claimed that the vaccine didn’t work at all. The most interesting aspect of this case is that the whistleblowers won their case. After an outcome this grand one is left wondering if maybe this court case is actually a ruse perpetrated by the drug company as a means to cover up the MMR/Autism link. By having a case on record stating that the drug was ineffective then it seems impossible for it to even cause harm in the first place, especially a harm like Autism.
There are two ethical problems resulting from this situation and the situation involves both Merck Pharmaceuticals and the Centers for Disease control. In a recent story published in Newsweek it is stated that “In the 1980s, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) launched efforts to curb measles outbreaks by increasing immunization rates, says Dr. Robert Amler, who led the push. The CDC worked with state legislatures to require every child to provide proof of immunization in order to enroll and stay in public or private school, and began to see reductions in measles cases within four or five years. By 2000, indigenous transmission of measles was stamped out in the U.S., according to Dr. Walter Orenstein, chair of the National Vaccine Advisory Committee and former director of the CDC's National Immunization Program. (Ziv 2015). By looking back at the timeline of the passing of the Vaccine Injury Program put into place to protect drug companies and the push for increased immunizations it becomes apparent after reading Merck’s statement on being involved with public policy that something scrupulous has and is taking place. In one unethical allegation the CDC pushed for the MMR vaccination that Merck produces which may cause Autism. On the other hand, the CDC is pushing for MMR vaccination that is produced by Merck and the vaccinations are ineffective. In both instances the CDC and Merck have made Dr. Wakefield their scapegoat. The CDC and Merck pharmaceuticals may have created the illusion that Dr. Wakefield is a fraud and then placed the blame of the new measles outbreak on his shoulders by pushing parents not to vaccinate. The end result is that no sane citizen will ever again question the MMR/Autism link for fear of being ridiculed. Further, the Center for Disease Prevention and Merck pharmaceuticals will not have to face the consequences of producing, selling, and forcing a placebo vaccination because the blame can be placed on the shoulders of parents who refuse to vaccinate their children. What is interesting about this whole scenario is what Dr. Wakefield himself has to say about the study that lead to ostracism when “He points out that his now infamous study never asserted a causal relationship between the MMR vaccine and autism. “We merely reported the parent’s description of what happened to their children, and the clinical findings,” he says. “We made no claims about the vaccine causing autism. In fact, we said this does not prove an association. And all we urged was further research.” The authors of the paper wrote at the time, “We did not prove an association between measles, mumps, and rubella vaccine and the syndrome described."(Ziv 2015). This is a very interesting statement because of the fact that he was calling on the scientific community to conduct further research on the MMR/Autism link and not only was he shut up but anyone else who would dare do research on the topic would most likely never bring their findings if negative into the light of day.
The CDC and Merck pharmaceuticals not only acted unethically, they did so together. Moreover, these two organizations scratched each other’s backs all the way to the bank and The CDC Foundation was the convenient troy horse which was built as a way for Merck to slither its way through the back door of the White House and nobody suspects a thing. Merck pharmaceuticals is responsible for creating this moral dilemma through unethical business practices while the Centers for Disease control and The CDC Foundation were hopefully involved in the situation because of the outside force. Merck pharmaceuticals and the CDC Foundation are both responsible for this problem. The only way this situation could have been prevented is to leave business out of the creation of research and medicine.
The theory of deontology was used by these organizations because this theory focuses on the action being right or wrong instead of the consequence of the action. The action of producing vaccinations in order to prevent illness or death conforms to what most consider a moral norm. However, the consequences of those actions are wrong. Laws were passed to protect vaccine manufacturers and as a result the public may have suffered the consequences. Moreover, moral relativism is also called into practice and utilized because while the vaccine manufacturers maybe lying about the effectiveness or damage caused by a bad vaccine in this case it seems as if lying to the public may be the right thing to do. If this lie were to be exposed then many parents would never vaccinate their children at all which could cause harm because some vaccinations are effective in preventing illness with no serious side effects. In this case, each citizen has a duty to become vaccinated based on their obligation to the public at large to remain free of preventable illness. It is then up to the moral relativist to decide if the consequences of this unethical practice are right or wrong.
These companies should have used the virtue theory when manufacturing vaccinations, passing laws making them mandatory, and while conducting research to their safety. If this were the theory that were incorporated then it would not matter if the consequences were good or bad. The only thing that would matter is if these decisions were made with the best interest of society in mind.
There is a very obvious relationship between profit and suffering in this case. Through human suffering created by disease and illness a business is making a sickening profit in the name of man- kind. These organizations are inducing fear into the public through mass marketing of their product and the product may not even work or could kill a person. The awful truth is that any research done on these practices or the vaccinations themselves may not even be truthful or fact.
The meaning of running an ethical business involves making decisions based on the assumption that one should do no harm. A business should decide if they are creating harm and to what degree of harm is the result of their business practices or products.
The best way for a company to maintain its competitive edge and to contribute to overall good or happiness for the majority would be to practice honesty and transparency. Once a company is known as being dishonest all of their practices, products, and associates then become scrutinized as well. In theory these organizations have adopted Virtue ethics as a statement of practice but it literally practices the opposite. This type of schizophrenic practice of business ethics have put people around the globe in harm’s way. For these reasons the relationship between these organizations is unethical and should be banned because it has put the public at risk and their best interest violated.
Regards,
Narcissist Problems
References
Budget Request Summary Fiscal Year 2014. (n.d.). Retrieved May 13, 2015, from http://www.cdc.gov/fmo/topic/Budget Information/appropriations_budget_form_pdf/FY2014_Budget_Request_Summary.pdf
The CDC Foundation - Helping CDC do more, faster. (n.d.). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.cdcfoundation.org/who/story
Combined Federal Campaign. (2014). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.cdcfoundation.org/FY20…/combined-federal-campaign
Frantz, P. (2005, February 13). Company profile template. Connexions. Retrieved from http://cnx.org/content/m12649/1.1/
Frequently Asked Questions. (n.d.). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.cdcfoundation.org/FAQ
Honor Gifts. (2014). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.cdcfoundation.org/FY2014/honor-gifts
The National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program. (1992). Retrieved May 17, 2015, from http://content.healthaffairs.org/content/11/1/255.short
The Margaret Ellerbe Mahoney Society. (2014). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.cdcfoundation.org/FY2014/mahoney-society
Mello, M. M., Abiola, S., & Colgrove, J. (2012). Pharmaceutical Companies' Role in State Vaccination Policymaking: The Case of Human Papillomavirus Vaccination. American Journal Of Public Health, 102(5), 893-898. doi:10.2105/AJPH.2011.300576
Memorial Gifts. (2014). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.cdcfoundation.org/FY2014/memorial-gifts
Merck Announces First-Quarter 2015 Financial Results. (n.d.). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.mercknewsroom.com/…/merck-announces-first-quarte…
Merck & Co. Inc's. (n.d.). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://csimarket.com/stocks/compet_glance.php?code=MRK
Mission, Role and Pledge. (2014, April 14). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.cdc.gov/about/organization/mission.htm
MRK's comparison of Quarterly Growth Rates to its Competition. (n.d.). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://csimarket.com/stocks/competitionNO3.php?code=MRK
We support public policies that advance the interests of patients, improve public health and promote access to medicines and innovation. (n.d.). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.merck.com/about/views-and-positions/home.html
Worldwide Contact Information. (n.d.). Retrieved May 12, 2015, from http://www.merck.com/contact/contacts.html
Ziv, S. (2015, February 10). Andrew Wakefield, Father of the Anti-Vaccine Movement, Responds to the Current Measles Outbreak for the First Time. Retrieved May 17, 2015, from http://www.newsweek.com/…/andrew-wakefield-father-anti-vacc…

May 26, 2015

Dear Narcissist Problems, "Feeling Violated"



Dear Narcissist Problems,
      I am a healthy four year old little boy with an uncircumcised penis. I have made it this far in life without any problems. My p...arents are not together. My father wants to cut off my foreskin for cosmetic reasons and my mother said no. Last week my mother was arrested and told she would not be released until she signed papers allowing the circumcision to take place. It is my body and I do not want to have my penis cut either, I am scared and I miss my mother. We live in the United States of America. Is this a human rights violation and how can I protect myself since my mother has been jailed and silenced with a gag order?
Sincerely,
"Feeling Violated"


Dear "Feeling Violated",

      The first thing I would like to say is that you have our support. A majority of us who have found our way here did so because we have suffered violations of our civil and human rights at the hands of our parents, family, or other loved ones. The situation you and your mother are facing is more like a crime against humanity. Yes, your human rights are being violated and so are your mothers. Unfortunately, given the situation, with the governments current involvement, the only thing to do is to continue to stand up for your rights and spread awareness of the situation so others get involved in your cause. I would suggest contacting the ACLU, advocacy groups, and the media. Given your mothers current court ordered silence you will need volunteers to spread the word of your horrible situation with your toxic father who should be jailed because any parent who truely loves their child would never let a situation where a child is not in danger escalate to this point in order to feel a sense of control over you and your mother. We find it beyond sickening and have officially raised our hands as a volunteer in creating awareness of this situation and sending out a call to action to get others involved as well. Narcissist Problems would like to let you know that we stand with your mother. We believe that your body, including your genitals, belong to you and that we will stand for and help fight against this injustice by spreading awareness of the judicial abuse your mother is currently experiencing. You are a very lucky little man to have such a brave mother standing up for your right to be human against a judicial system that is suffering from severe corruption to the point that a judge feels it is his personal duty to forced your penis to be mutilated. There is a special place in hell for people who watch an injustice take place and do nothing. We hope that the only things you take away from this experience is your mothers bravery, courage, hope in humanity as you watch supporters rally for your rights and dignity, and of course your intact penis. You and your mother are not alone. Rest assured that the outrage express is plowing full steam ahead and gaining momentum in the form of supporters who will not sit down and shut up like your mother has been court ordered to do. We are very sorry that you are going through such a traumatic and dehumanizing experience at the hands of your father. We hope that one day your family will be able to heal from this experience. Continue to fight the good fight and do not stand down to this blatant disregard of your body, human, and civil rights. We support you!
Sincerely,
Narcissist Problems

http://savingchase.org/
https://www.facebook.com/ChasesGuardians
http://chasesguardians.org/wp/

About
Saving Chase
On November 6, 2014, a Florida court ordered the circumcision of a healthy four year old boy, a painful and risky surgery for young boys, at the insistence of his father. The boy's name is Chase and his mother, Heather Hironimus, is fighting a battle to save him.
In December 2011, Chase's mother signed a parenting agreement which gave Chase's father permission to have their (then) baby boy circumcised. Three years later, Chase is still intact, happy and healthy.
Heather Hironimus realized over the years that removing Chase's foreskin was unnecessary. She argues that the parenting plan circumcision agreement no longer applies to a now older, and more aware, boy.
Pediatric urologist Dr. Charles Flack testified to the court that circumcision is not medically necessary after examining the boy.
Genital autonomy advocates believe Chase's physical and mental health are at risk. He is aware of his body and does not want to have surgery on his genitals. Amputating a healthy, functional body part is a violation of basic human rights and medical ethics.
The purpose of this site is to draw attention to Chase's case and to provide a place for concerned citizens to support Heather's struggle.
We are a coalition of activists committed to saving Chase from a tragic and violent invasion of his body. Funds are collected by Doctors Opposing Circumcision, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization. Please visit our donate page to support Chase. If you would like to contribute to our efforts in other ways, please contact us through our contact page.

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