DIY Detective


     If you are dealing with a narcissist then you know they are masters at manipulation. They lie, steal, and frame with a stealth ease. If you are dealing with gaslighting and other methods of crazy making then you need to get a little proactive. I always suggest going No Contact because a narcissist will never change but there are some situations where it is almost impossible to go no contact.

      For instance, you are "co-parenting" and need to communicate because you share children. Narcissists love to use these forced interactions to perpetuate their abuse. Many times they make it impossible to function as they continuously manipulate situations to use against you in court to punish you for existing. If you have no choice but to interact with a narcissist then you are going to need to go inspector gadget on them. Whatever you need to do to document the crazy make sure that you are doing it!

Record Keeping

     You should be breaking out a journal and documenting your own day everyday. Write a quick note about what you did that day. Get in the habit of saving receipts and if you go anywhere try to write down where and what time. You really never know when or if this information will be useful but its better to make it a habit than get blindslided next month by a surprise knock on your door from child protective services because "someone" made an anonymous call about you. Also, record your interactions with the narcissist. You can bring these notes up in court later to recall anything the narcissist might say you did or where you were. Don't get railroaded!

Keep a 12 Month planner but instead of writing your schedule or to-do list, use it as your daily documentation. It will resemble a "diary" but it is way more organized and to the point. Make sure to get a planner with dates every year so you are motivated to stay ontop of your documentation. This isn't a once weekly task. You should be doing this daily until you no longer have to deal with this narcissist.

     If you are being stalked or simply harassed its a good idea to keep track of any strange cars, people, and clothing, and incidents. You want to know the time, date, who was there, what happened, where did it happen, where there cars involved? Whats the plate number, color, make, and model. I'm serious about my stalking documentation. This comes in very handy when the narc has flying monkeys following you around. This log will also help you keep track of their information incase you need to take a flying monkey to court as well. You never know whats going to happen. The better your documentation the better your chances of putting this nightmare to an end.

      This is a police incident notebook that has special fields for any information that would need to be documented per police and court records. Also, Make sure that you have a special file for all your documentation because it really ads up. The last thing you need is an unorganized mess to deal with. Get one of those accordion files with multiple slots and then label the slots by month. Get a new one every year and keep those records forever if you need to.

     The next thing you need is an actual journal or something for detailed notes. The planner is a short run down of your day. The police notebook to keep track of each "incident" with documentation that will hold up in court. The last thing is some place to keep details of your incounters with the narcissist. This journal will be like the Police notebooks best friend. 

     You want to sync your journal with the dates in the police journal which is used for brief but factual information. You want to use your journal to describe what happened and you want to do it while the incident is fresh on your mind. You want to tell your story in detail so that you don't forget anything six months down the line. You also need this to remind yourself who else was there and if there were any reports made. This combo of police field note and journal will really come in handy when you are dealing with a police department that refuses to make a report. Further, your lawyer will LOVE the crap out of you for making their job so much easier.

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