Saturday, January 7, 2017

Dear Narcissist Problems, My sister was murdered by a narcissist





Dear Narcissist Problems,

      I don't know what to do....My sister died" suddenly" and I have requested her medical info and her narcissist husband will not allow me to have her records. He tormented me after her death by saying she liked to be locked in the closet. She was stuck in this relationship and I do think she was going to leave him. I cannot even access the 911 call. They said I could have it if I had my attorney request it then they denied the request. Police, Sheriff, fire dept. will not help. What do I do?
 Sincerely,
 
“Grieving Sister”


Dear “Grieving”,
            I’m really sorry to hear about the loss of your sister and I can only imagine how hard you are grieving. A narcissist can destroy the lives of everyone they come into contact with.  Even if he did not kill your sister his tormenting you is extremely cruel and if it isn't narcissistic abuse then it could possibly be the provocation of a psychopath . Without more information it would be really hard to say exactly what you should do. Many things would depend upon getting any help legally. It would be useful for you to find out if her abuse was actually documented and the cause of death. When you say she died suddenly it is unclear if suddenly means of a natural event or if there were any questionable circumstances. You could begin by trying to see if her abuse was documented and to get any help with this you will need a lawyer. It will be hard to get the police to listen if there is little or no documentation. If there is documentation and the events were questionable I’m sure they are already investigating this.

     For the mean time, I have two suggestions for you to get through this awful situation you are going through. The first is to speak with the lawyer. It seems that you have done this as you say “they say I could have it then they denied the request”. If the request was denied then I would see if it is possible to submit an appeal to that decision. Again, only your attorney can help you with this. However, I also recommend getting a consult with multiple attorneys and choosing one that you are comfortable with. I would preferably find a lawyer that is familiar with narcissistic abuse and possibly seek the help of someone who is passionate about prosecuting for emotional abuse as well. 
     
     We do offer consultation services for free with attorneys with the option to hire at a flat rate instead of hourly at Narcissistproblems.com/legal. This is a nationwide service so there will be an attorney in your area that will respond to your anonymous question. I would leave out any personal identifiers and stick strictly to the facts and circumstances surrounded. I know it is hard but also try to leave out any emotional implications as when we make statements about how we feel about a situation people in legal positions tend to dismiss our feelings about it. Our feelings are not evidence so you need to collect real evidence.

     The second suggestion I have is to seek support and counseling for your grieving. I would spend some time finding a therapist who specializes in narcissistic and emotional abuse to help you get through this nightmare and also help put things into perspective.  I searched around and seen that many are recommending this book about grief when dealing with the sudden loss of a loved one:

 
 This community found at Grief.com seems to be a great place to start to find support and resources.  This site also has the type of loss you are experiencing broken further down into support groups so you can connect and discuss with others who have gone through what you are experiencing.
You are grieving and most likely angry and feel powerless over your situation. I would try to connect with others in support groups geared toward abuse or surviving family members of people that have lost a loved one to abuse. I wish you luck on getting through this. Just remember to stop every once in a while and take care of yourself because this will consume your life as you search for answers and justice.

Regards,


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