January 23, 2017

Dear Narcissist Problems, "Narcissistic Social Worker"

I love social media, thank you for your site. When I explain to others what I experience with a narcissistic social worker a masters narcissistic social worker (that should not have a license) people look at me like I am crazy. I would like more information for education helps me to understand the craziness.
Need resources on how to deal with a Narcissistic Social Worker!


"legally harassed"

Dear "harassed"

     I can only imagine what you are going through if you are dealing with a narcissistic social worker! As far as educational materials dealing specifically with a narcissistic social worker I'm coming up short handed. However! There is a lot of information on how to deal with an investigation, how to deal with false allegations, and how to deal with legal kidnapping.

     Unfortunately for us what we consider narcissistic abuse is actually common practice within the Department of human services. I'm sure that some good people with noble intentions originally set out to be social workers to save children but all of those good intentions fly out of the window when combined with state policies. 

   There is a conflict of interest happening within our civil court system and specifically within DCFS where false allegations are encouraged by narcissistic social workers and used against parents with little to no evidence as a means to legally kidnap children. I think we are all in agreement that throwing a child into the foster care system rather than working with the parents who may have issues is not only not in the best interest of the child but it's also not in the best interest of our species.

The late Senator Nancy Schaefer was an advocate for parents and families dealing with social services. She did a great job explaining what happens to families dealing with DCFS. 

There is a huge problem in our country in regards to the corruption and problems withing the DCFS system so outing one narcissistic social worker would be almost impossible because their tactics are widely accepted and used by the entire system to destroy children and families. 

I'm glad this page has helped but I highly suggest doing a search on Facebook for groups that deal directly with CPS and DCFS corruption.

Don't let a narcissistic social worker ruin your life without a fight! First stop over here and ask a lawyer anonymously and for free.

Here are five things you can do if you are facing false allegations to DCFS:

  • Don't sign anything!
  • Hire a Lawyer!
  • Don't Give them access to any of your records!
  • Recind signatures!
  • Record and document all interactions!
     In the meantime, make sure that you record all interactions with this social worker. Inform them that you will be recording the conversation or face to face meeting if required to do so by law. 
Another option is to refuse any meetings without your lawyer. If they want to speak with you then ALWAYS speak with your lawyer. Stop them and say, I need to talk to my lawyer first. Then call your lawyer.

     I know attorneys are very expensive but this is one situation where you should sell your house, car, pawn your belongings, and do whatever you need to come up with the money to pay a lawyer because not having a lawyer could cost you your family. Don't sign anything without showing it to your lawyer first.

     If you have already signed something then send them a certified letter in the mail requiring a signature that states you are recinding, an email that you are recinding, AND a phone call. Then save the records of all three so they can' t later say they collected evidence before you recinded your signature.  When you recind make the letter quick and to the point "I did not understand what I was signing, I signed under duress, and I was told that if I didn't sign the document X Y and Z would happen to me or my children".

     Make it clear that you will no longer be signing anything without a lawyer first looking over the document. I'm not sure exactly what is going on in your case or with this social worker but I can only imagine that you are being threatened with your custody of your children. Make sure that you stand your ground, never admit to anything especially when you are innocent! A great way parents get duped by DCFS is signing an agreement to services. In the eyes of the government by you signing that agreement you are agreeing to being guilty of whatever they are accusing you of. DON'T SIGN ANYTHING, EVER!

     These people might act as though they are above the law but they are not. If you don't know your rights as a citizen of this country then you might as well not have any. They need probably cause, they need evidence so don't give it to them!
     Make them take you to court but you better be sure that you are not giving up evidence that might be used against you because it will be even if its something innocent it will be twisted into you being a monster. If you give them an inch they will take a mile. Stand your ground and know your rights. Specifically, know the 4th and 14th amendments and practice them!



January 10, 2017

DSM-5: The Ten Personality Disorders: Cluster B Repost from Mentalhelp.net

DSM-5: The Ten Personality Disorders: Cluster B

Antisocial Personality Disorder
Histrionic Personality Disorder
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder

This is from a website, i copied and pasted so you guys could avoid the very annoying half screen advertisement that pops up after scrolling past the first paragraph then doesnt go away! I hope you read this mentalhelp!

Cluster B is called the dramatic, emotional, and erratic cluster. It includes:

  • Borderline Personality Disorder.
  • Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
  • Histrionic Personality Disorder.
  • Antisocial Personality Disorder.
Disorders in this cluster share problems with impulse control and emotional regulation.

Antisocial Personality Disorder

The Antisocial Personality Disorder* is characterized by a pervasive pattern of disregard for the rights of other people that often manifests as hostility and/or aggression. Deceit and manipulation are also central features.
In many cases hostile-aggressive and deceitful behaviors may first appear during childhood.
These children may hurt or torment animals or people.
They may engage in hostile acts such as bullying or intimidating others.
They may have a reckless disregard for property such as setting fires.
They often engage in deceit, theft, and other serious violations of standard rules of conduct.
When this is the case, Conduct Disorder (a juvenile form of Antisocial Personality Disorder) may be an appropriate diagnosis.

Conduct Disorder is often considered the precursor to an Antisocial Personality Disorder.

shutterstock_257695930In addition to reckless disregard for others, they often place themselves in dangerous or risky situations.
They frequently act on impulsive urges without considering the consequences. This difficulty with impulse control results in loss of employment, accidents, legal difficulties, and incarceration.
Persons with Antisocial Personality Disorder typically do not experience genuine remorse for the harm they cause others. However, they can become quite adept at feigning remorse when it is in their best interest to do so (such as when standing before a judge).
They take little to no responsibility for their actions. In fact, they will often blame their victims for "causing" their wrong actions, or deserving of their fate. The aggressive features of this personality disorder make it stand out among other personality disorders as individuals with this disorder take a unique toll on society.

Histrionic Personality Disorder

Persons with Histrionic Personality Disorder* are characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking. Their lives are full of drama (so-called "drama queens"). They are uncomfortable in situations where they are not the center of attention.
shutterstock_130102298People with this disorder are often quite flirtatious or seductive, and like to dress in a manner that draws attention to them.
They can be flamboyant and theatrical, exhibiting an exaggerated degree of emotional expression.
Yet simultaneously, their emotional expression is vague, shallow, and lacking in detail. This gives them the appearance of being disingenuous and insincere.
Moreover, the drama and exaggerated emotional expression often embarrasses friends and acquaintances as they may embrace even casual acquaintances with excessive ardor, or may sob uncontrollably over some minor sentimentality.
People with Histrionic Personality Disorder can appear flighty and fickle. Their behavioral style often gets in the way of truly intimate relationships, but it is also the case that they are uncomfortable being alone.
They tend to feel depressed when they are not the center of attention. When they are in relationships, they often imagine relationships to be more intimate in nature than they actually are.
People with Histrionic Personality Disorder tend to be suggestible; that is, they are easily influenced by other people's suggestions and opinions. A literary character that exemplifies the Histrionic Personality Disorder is the character of Blanche DuBois in Tennessee William's classic play, "Streetcar Named Desire."

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder* have significant problems with their sense of self-worth stemming from a powerful sense of entitlement. This leads them to believe they deserve special treatment, and to assume they have special powers, are uniquely talented, or that they are especially brilliant or attractive. Their sense of entitlement can lead them to act in ways that fundamentally disregard and disrespect the worth of those around them.Friend intervention
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success and power, so much so that they might end up getting lost in their daydreams while they
fantasize about their superior intelligence or stunning beauty.
These people can get so caught up in their fantasies that they don't put any effort into their daily life and don't direct their energies toward accomplishing their goals.
They may believe that they are special and deserve special treatment, and may display an attitude that is arrogant and haughty.
This can create a lot of conflict with other people who feel exploited and who dislike being treated in a condescending fashion.
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder often feel devastated when they realize that they have normal, average human limitations; that they are not as special as they think, or that others don't admire them as much as they would like.
These realizations are often accompanied by feelings of intense anger or shame that they sometimes take out on other people.
Their need to be powerful, and admired, coupled with a lack of empathy for others, makes for conflictual relationships that are often superficial and devoid of real intimacy and caring.
Status is very important to people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Associating with famous and special people provides them a sense of importance. These individuals can quickly shift from over-idealizing others to devaluing them.
However, the same is true of their self-judgments. They tend to vacillate between feeling like they have unlimited abilities, and then feeling deflated, worthless, and devastated when they encounter their normal, average human limitations. Despite their bravado, people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder require a lot of admiration from other people in order to bolster their own fragile self-esteem. They can be quite manipulative in extracting the necessary attention from those people around them.

Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder* is one of the most widely studied personality disorders. People with Borderline Personality Disorder tend to experience intense and unstable emotions and moods that can shift fairly quickly. They generally have a hard time calming down once they have become upset. As a result, they frequently have angry outbursts and engage in impulsive behaviors such as substance abuse, risky sexual liaisons, self-injury, overspending, or binge eating. These behaviors often function to sooth them in the short-term, but harm them in the longer term.Angry woman
People with Borderline Personality Disorder tend to see the world in polarized, over-simplified, all-or-nothing terms.
They apply their harsh either/or judgments to others and to themselves and their perceptions of themselves and others may quickly vacillate back and forth between "all good" and "all bad."
This tendency leads to an unstable sense of self, so that persons with this disorder tend to have a hard time being consistent.
They can frequently change careers, relationships, life goals, or residences. Quite often these radical changes occur without any warning or advance preparation.
Black-and-White Thinking and Emotion Dysregulation in Borderline Personality Disorder
Screen Shot 2015-11-10 at 2.44.21 PMPeople with Borderline Personality Disorder tend to view the world in terms of black-and-white, or all-or-nothing thinking. Their tendency to see the world in black-or-white (polarized) terms makes it easy for them to misinterpret the actions and motivations of others.
These polarized thoughts about their relationships with others lead them to experience intense emotional reactions, which in turn interacts with their difficulties in regulating these intense emotions.
The result is that they will characteristically experience great distress which they cannot easily control and may subsequently engage in self-destructive behaviors as they do their best to cope.
The intensity of their emotions, coupled with their difficulty regulating these emotions, leads them to act impulsively.
To illustrate the way black-and-white thinking, emotional dys-regulation, and poor impulse regulation all merge and culminate to create interpersonal conflict and distress, let's use an example:
Suppose the partner of a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder fails to remember their anniversary. Black-and-white thinking causes her to conclude, "He doesn't love me anymore" and all-or-nothing thinking leads her to (falsely) conclude, "If he does not love me, then he must hate me."
Such thoughts would easily lead to some pretty intense emotions, such as feeling rejected, abandoned, sad, and angry. She has a hard time tolerating and dealing with these intense feelings and consequently becomes highly upset and overwhelmed. The intensity of her negative feelings seems unbearable.
Next she has a powerful impulse to "do something" just so that these feelings will go away. She might angrily accuse her partner of having an affair and she might plead with her partner not to leave her.
Meanwhile her partner is baffled by this extreme reaction, particularly since he is not having an affair, and he readily recalls all his other recent loving gestures. Her partner might also become angry at these wild accusations of infidelity and so the conflict escalates and things get more intense.
Alone after the fight, the woman feels overwhelming self-loathing or numbness and goes on to intentionally injure herself (by cutting or burning herself) as a way to cope with her numbness.
When her partner learns about this self-harm behavior he can't understand it and concludes he is being manipulated. He expresses his strong concern for her well-being but also his anger. In turn, she feels misunderstood.
Clearly, the Borderline Personality Disorder with its combination of distorted thought patterns, intense and under-regulated emotions, and poor impulse control is practically designed to wreak havoc on any interpersonal relationship.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

Learn more about Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder
*It is important to remember that everyone can exhibit some of these personality traits from time to time. To meet the diagnostic requirement of a personality disorder, these traits must be inflexible; i.e., they can be regularly observed without regard to time, place, or circumstance.
Furthermore, these traits must cause functional impairment and/or subjective distress. Functional impairment means these traits interfere with a person's ability to functional well in society. The symptoms cause problems in interpersonal relationships; or at work, school, or home. Subjective distress means the person with a personality disorder may experience their symptoms as unwanted, harmful, painful, embarrassing, or otherwise cause them distress. The above list only briefly summarizes these individual Cluster B personality disorders. Richer, more detailed descriptions of these disorders are found in the section describing the four core features of personality disorders.

January 7, 2017

Dear Narcissist Problems, My sister was murdered by a narcissist

Dear Narcissist Problems,

      I don't know what to do....My sister died" suddenly" and I have requested her medical info and her narcissist husband will not allow me to have her records. He tormented me after her death by saying she liked to be locked in the closet. She was stuck in this relationship and I do think she was going to leave him. I cannot even access the 911 call. They said I could have it if I had my attorney request it then they denied the request. Police, Sheriff, fire dept. will not help. What do I do?
“Grieving Sister”

Dear “Grieving”,
            I’m really sorry to hear about the loss of your sister and I can only imagine how hard you are grieving. A narcissist can destroy the lives of everyone they come into contact with.  Even if he did not kill your sister his tormenting you is extremely cruel and if it isn't narcissistic abuse then it could possibly be the provocation of a psychopath . Without more information it would be really hard to say exactly what you should do. Many things would depend upon getting any help legally. It would be useful for you to find out if her abuse was actually documented and the cause of death. When you say she died suddenly it is unclear if suddenly means of a natural event or if there were any questionable circumstances. You could begin by trying to see if her abuse was documented and to get any help with this you will need a lawyer. It will be hard to get the police to listen if there is little or no documentation. If there is documentation and the events were questionable I’m sure they are already investigating this.

     For the mean time, I have two suggestions for you to get through this awful situation you are going through. The first is to speak with the lawyer. It seems that you have done this as you say “they say I could have it then they denied the request”. If the request was denied then I would see if it is possible to submit an appeal to that decision. Again, only your attorney can help you with this. However, I also recommend getting a consult with multiple attorneys and choosing one that you are comfortable with. I would preferably find a lawyer that is familiar with narcissistic abuse and possibly seek the help of someone who is passionate about prosecuting for emotional abuse as well. 
     We do offer consultation services for free with attorneys with the option to hire at a flat rate instead of hourly at Narcissistproblems.com/legal. This is a nationwide service so there will be an attorney in your area that will respond to your anonymous question. I would leave out any personal identifiers and stick strictly to the facts and circumstances surrounded. I know it is hard but also try to leave out any emotional implications as when we make statements about how we feel about a situation people in legal positions tend to dismiss our feelings about it. Our feelings are not evidence so you need to collect real evidence.

     The second suggestion I have is to seek support and counseling for your grieving. I would spend some time finding a therapist who specializes in narcissistic and emotional abuse to help you get through this nightmare and also help put things into perspective.  I searched around and seen that many are recommending this book about grief when dealing with the sudden loss of a loved one:

 This community found at Grief.com seems to be a great place to start to find support and resources.  This site also has the type of loss you are experiencing broken further down into support groups so you can connect and discuss with others who have gone through what you are experiencing.
You are grieving and most likely angry and feel powerless over your situation. I would try to connect with others in support groups geared toward abuse or surviving family members of people that have lost a loved one to abuse. I wish you luck on getting through this. Just remember to stop every once in a while and take care of yourself because this will consume your life as you search for answers and justice.