Saturday, September 3, 2016

Dear Narcissist Problems, "Mirror Mirror"





Dear Narcissist Problems,
Now I have a somewhat unusual question about this... My friend Thadd a good friend of mine for years says I have this ability when I meet new people. I can have a mirror personality. When I first meet them and explore the new social dynamic I don't act like myself. I act like and 'become' them for a short period of time. This also isn't, at least isn't always, something I do consciously. I personally think of it as a method of learning more about different people and perspectives in life. However, could this be perhaps mildly.... psychopathic behavior?
Sincerely,
“Thadd’s Friend”
 
Dear "Friend",
     Actually your question isn’t that unusual at all.  In fact, most people who have had some kind of involvement with a narcissist or psychopath spend vast amounts of time analyzing their own behavior and then asking themselves; “Am I the psychopath?”  Let me break this down for you many of the traits displayed by narcissists and psychopaths are normal human behaviors but the difference is the way these behaviors are used and why.  I would have to say you are not a psychopath because you came here to ask if you are a psychopath.  Psychopaths do not spend time analyzing their own behavior.  Psychopaths spend vast amounts of time analyzing YOUR behavior and in return they make you irrationally paranoid of normal things you might do.  If anything, I would start asking myself, “Is Thadd the psychopath because he is so overly focused on my behavior?” 

            The important thing to pay attention to is why you are doing this or even if you are doing it excessively as Thadd has stated.  Don’t get me wrong, mirroring is a HUGE red flag that someone could be an emotional predator but all people mirror others especially when we like those people!  We don’t have to think about it.  We are humans and this is what we do not only when we like someone we first meet but also so they like us!  The difference between this normal mirroring and a disordered mirroring is intention.  You would need to focus on your own patterns of behavior.  Are you getting really close to people too quickly and then when that initial high of a new friendship or relationship wears off do you throw that person away?  Do you have long relationships with others?  Are you mirroring people in order to gain information about who they are so that you can use that information to manipulate them into using them?  I’m going to go out on a limb here and think perhaps you are doing this because you are honestly trying to form relationships with these people.

            Further, it takes a lot more than just mirroring to be a psychopath.  What it all boils down to is your intention, actions throughout the relationship, ability to empathize with other, and the list goes on.  If you really think you are a psychopath after running through the checklist of psychopathic traits and tendencies then I would start to worry.  In the meantime, I’d watch my friend Thadd because one thing these personality types do is point out your “flaws” in order to later destroy you.  Have a great day and good luck figuring out the situation!

Regards,

Narcissist Problems

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